Mark Titus, Freelance Writer

'Unless the parent is willing to have the matter reported, the police are unable to act.'

WESTERN BUREAU:

Ignoring the myriad of negative effects that incest inflicts on its victims, many families have opted to cover up this horrendous crime in a bid to protect the perpetrators or, sometimes the family image.

Fifteen-year-old Shelly (not her real name) has been left with perpetual scars. Her cousin Kirk, who is nine years her senior, has been molesting her for the past seven years.

"It first happened one afternoon when my parents took my little sister to the doctor," she tells The Sunday Gleaner. "Kirk and I were at home alone. We were watching television when he said he wanted to play a game called 'You show me yours, I'll show you mine.'"

Touching games

"I participated, because I did not think anything was wrong, but the games began happening more often, especially when we were alone," she recounts. "The showing game then turned to touching games, and the older I got, the more uncomfortable I became. There was just something that was not right with what we were doing.

"Another young female relative then complained to her mother that Kirk had been doing similar things to her, and the mother went to the police. That was when I saw the seriousness of what I had gotten myself into.

"My father was more accommodating than my mother, and so I decided to speak to him. But when I approached him, he was speaking on his phone, defending Kirk against the allegations made by my relative. So I kept it to myself," she relates.

Shelly became more aggressive towards Kirk, hoping that her parents would realise that something was wrong; but she was only rebuked and told how spoilt she was.

"I don't know what I was expecting; I only know that I wanted it to stop. So I went to my grandmother and told her all that had been happening," Shelly recounts. "I cannot forget the shock, the horror on her face when I told her. And after listening to all I had to say, she looked me straight in the eyes and told me to promise her that I would not say anything because she was afraid that my dad would get himself in trouble. I decided to listen to her."

Shelly's father was hesitant to recount for The Sunday Gleaner the day he was first told of the sexual abuse of his daughter. "I still can't see how this could have been happening without me knowing; my girls and I were so close, we spoke about everything," he says. "It's all my fault, because they kept telling me that they don't want him there, but I just thought that he was cramping their space, now that they had gotten older; that they were just being selfish.

"It never happened to her little sister because Shelly warned her about him, but they both kept it to themselves," he continued. "I still can't look her straight in the face, because I feel as if I have betrayed her. I am not sure how to relate to her anymore."

He tells The Sunday Gleaner that he realised that something was wrong when she became uncooperative and began to even stare him down when she did anything wrong and was being reprimanded.

"They never, ever did such a thing, because I am a disciplinarian, so that was my first clear sign that something was not right," he relates. "I now am trying to find a way to win back her confidence, but I think I might have lost her."