Absentee landlords

1. When news hit town last week that some United States-based DEA agents would be visiting the rock, it seems that everyone in the family left the scene. Some say all the businesses were left in the hands of the employees.

Mud-slinging

2.How not to win friends and influence people: Send a barrage of emails slamming your competitors. Have your dirty tricks department send out many letters thrashing those who disagree with you, and generally bad-mouth those who dare to have an independent idea that is different from your own.

Bad luck

3.The wife is sporting a black eye, she claims to have fallen at home. Those closest to them say if it was an accident, then she must have accidentally walked into the husband's fist, during one of their many arguments.

Out of rehab, and out of touch

4.He is now out of rehab, but so far clients can't seem able to get an appointment to settle outstanding matters.

Husband not sporting a 'jacket'

5.The question of paternity is now at the centre of one marital imbroglio, as the husband is demanding a DNA test to settle the issue of fatherhood. Seems this position came about after a series in The Sunday Gleaner about 'Jackets', that led to his friends openly commenting on the fact that the child seem to have some oriental features, despite both known parents being occidental.

Get with the programme

6.Seems like he did not get the memo, but had he, it would have read: You were only appointed because! Now get with the programme and try and perform, leave the grandstanding to the pineapple-face one!

No probe raising questions

7.For all the talk about fraud following the recent departure, why is there no investigation under way?

Profiling

8.High-profile family, low-profile wedding. What really started the fights? It happened over the weekend, and it's been the talk of the town since.