Q. Doc, I am a puzzled lady. I do not really understand why men want women to do that oral sex thing for them.

I am 36, and have been married twice. I am now single, but I have a pretty good sex life. I have a feeling that my current boyfriend could at last be my 'Mr. Right!'

But, I have a problem. I remember that when I was a teenager, I did not like it if a boy wanted me to give him oral sex. Perhaps I was a little frightened of the male organ in those days. Certainly, I did NOT want to put it in my mouth. I felt this was a rather 'dirty' activity.

Time went by, and I got married for the first time. You may not believe this, doc, but that marriage fell apart on the issue of oral sex.

You see, my first husband was a guy who loved being given fellatio. But he didn't believe in doing it gently. No, sir, his idea of fun was to keep ramming himself into my mouth so that I nearly choked.

Eventually, he left me for a girl who, so he said, gave him real good 'head'. I divorced him with a BIG sigh of relief.

My second husband happened along a few years later. He was a much gentler guy, and we got on pretty well for a long time. But he too was keen on being given oral sex, and he used to try and bribe me into it by promising to take me out for dinner afterwards.

I did not object too much to his way of doing, partly because he was so gentle.

However, the one thing I could not stand was the fact that he sometimes wanted to discharge in the back of my mouth.

In the fullness of time, we drifted apart and he divorced me. Now I am with this new guy, who I hope will be my true love forever.

And guess what? He too says he likes oral sex. It seems like it is the story of my life!

So, doc, I am asking you kindly to answer some questions about this fellatio thing.

First, WHY on earth do men want to do it? And, if they must, why do they want to discharge down some poor unfortunate woman's throat?

Second, is it harmful? And can it cause infection?

Finally, if I have to do it with my new man, can you give me good advice as to how to cope with it?

A. Thank you for your letter, which I think will strike a chord with many women.

I can remember a time when fellatio was relatively rare in Jamaica, and in most of the West Indies. It was widely regarded as a 'foreign' or 'French' practice, which was believed to be the sort of thing they did down in Martinique or Guadeloupe.

All that has changed in recent years due to influences from the United States and England - particularly with regard to pornographic films, videos and DVDs, which almost invariably include endless scenes of oral sex.

Also, from a medical point of view, I have to admit that doctors and sexologists have discovered that fellatio is a useful method of helping men who are having a little trouble with erection.

Now, let me answer your various questions.

First, you ask WHY men want to do it - and why so many of them want to go all the way and discharge in the woman's mouth. Well, the fact is that males are biologically programmed to want to penetrate females, and to orgasm inside them. That is a major reason why the human race has survived.

For a lot of guys, their programming makes them want to get into - and climax inside -ANY available female orifice. After the vagina, the mouth is the second most popular opening, probably because it too is warm and moist.

Next, you ask if fellatio is harmful. No, it is not - but it CAN spread infections if one partner is carrying germs. Herpes, gonorrhoea ('clap') and chlamydia can be passed on in this way. So can HIV, though that is less common.

Finally, you ask how you can cope with it. The answer is that you don't HAVE to. No woman should be forced to fellate a guy against her will.

However, if you are going to do it for him, my advice is to take matters real gently in the early stages of your relationship, and to begin with activities that you are reasonably comfortable with.

For instance, you could start by just offering to kiss him on the shaft and tip of the penis.

Maybe after a few months, you could move on to taking him inside a little bit, or using you tongue on him, which most guys find very exciting.

You may find that this particular man doesn't wish to go as far as discharging inside your mouth. Not all males do. And remember, you DON'T have to allow that. It is your body, and it is up to you to decide what to do with it!

Q. I am 22 and male. I recently met this nice girl, and she told me where she loves to have sex for two hours at a time. The most I have ever lasted is one hour. So, could you give me good advice about how to last longer?

A. To last a full hour at your age is pretty good. If you really do wish to last longer than 60 minutes, the best trick is this: Whenever you feel yourself wanting to discharge, immediately turn your thoughts to something else - like sport or politics.

Q. I have terrible underarm perspiration. Can anything be done about this, doc?

A. I am sure you wash your armpits very thoroughly. After washing, apply several layers of a good antiperspirant/deodorant. Renew this several times a day.

If that does not work, ask a doc about taking an operation to reduce the flow of perspiration.

Q. I am a 49-year-old businesswoman, and I am thinking of getting married again. But I have passed the menopause, so I wondering whether I would be able to offer my new husband sex?

A. Certainly! Many women have marvellous sex lives after the menopause. You may need to use a lubricant - or even possibly a little hormone cream, in order to keep your vagina in good shape.

My advice: See an experienced doc for an internal check-up before you resume sex. Take her advice about whether any hormones are necessary.

Q. I resent being told to clean my teeth. Is this really necessary, doc?

A. Yes. If you do not do it, then your teeth will probably get rotten and ugly.

Q. Last month, my boyfriend climaxed inside me, but I was not ready to have a child. So I went to the doctor, and he prescribed something for me. After that, my menstruation came. So, am I OK now?

A. Yes, if you are sure it was a normal period. If you are NOT sure, take a pregnancy test.

The doc clearly gave you the so-called Morning After Pill. But it would be better to use a regular method of contraception, such as the Pill.

Q. I want to ask you about breast reduction. Is this a totally safe operation?

A. No operation is TOTALLY safe since complications such as bleeding, bruising and infection can occur. Only this week, I saw a patient who had just had a breast reduction op - and whose cuts had become badly infected.

Your best plan is to make sure that you consult a really good plastic surgeon.

Q. I am 18 and female. Sometimes I have a discharge that looks like little white 'balls' on my underwear. Why?

A. In a teenager, this could be a normal secretion. Or it could be thrush, especially if you have itching.

What you must do now is to see a doc to have this white matter checked out.

Q. Help me, doc. Can rectal sex make a girl pregnant?

A. Only if the guy's sex fluid runs out of her, and trickles into her vagina. That is not common.

Email the doctor at editor@gleanerjm.com;or fax 922-6223, attention: Doctor's Advice.