Kelly

Heard a song the other day and the lyrics had me shaking the old noggin.

The DJ was basically apologising to a young lady he had tricked with talk of being fairly wealthy to get her into bed. First off, I am a little puzzled as to why I found it partially funny. I guess it was the words he used.

But I started to think about it some, more, and then I was totally at sea as to what was worse: That there are men who still do this kind of thing, or that women still fall for it. One instinct is to say "A good! She too licky licky". But I can't leave the gents totally blameless. It's about time we presented ourselves for who we are and take it from there. Furthermore, and this is going to sound very bad, but there are women out there 'giving it away' whether they think you're the guy who owns the mansion or the gardener. Plus, to play devil's advocate, it's better they get the 'nookie' that way rather than rape.

Now, some of these blokes actually like the young miss they're courting and would like a serious relationship with them; not just the slam bam thank you ma'am deal. They figure that starting out with the loving pauper look will get them nowhere and in all fairness, it might not. Let's face it, if she's an internal auditor and he's a clerk in a shoe store, they might not hit it off.

False pretences

But starting any relationship under false pretences is a bad idea. At some point, the truth is going to come out and when it does, it may not happen like the movies where she smacks you, storms off, thinks about it and two weeks later runs to you crying saying all is forgiven. Happily ever after they live and the music rises while the credits start coming up and we make our way to the cinema exits. That's 'reel' life, not real life, and the latter is not always scripted that way.

It is quite possible that the young miss will be sooo upset she beats you within an inch of your life and leaves you lying in the intensive-care unit thinking "maybe this wasn't a good idea". Worse yet, she spreads her new-found information to all (and I mean ALL) her friends and before you know it, you can't get a date anywhere in this hemisphere.

So, knock it off fellows. Leave your friends or boss' Bimma and walk! When she breaks your legs for fooling her, the only thing you'll be driving is a wheelchair!

Don't fool with me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com