Kelly

There are a few things that cause me to cringe, and creepy-looking old guys trying to seduce a younger woman is one of them.

I guess these old guys think they are 'old playaz' or were 'the man' back in the day. The key words are 'back in the day'. That was then, this is now. What worked for you then won't necessarily work for you now. And unless there are some Benjamin Franklin (US$100 bills) in your pockets, you might have about as much luck as trying to find a Muslim at a pork festival.

Greasy geriatrics

Some of these greasy geriatrics use the argument that any woman they are with can't be so old that their aggregate age comes up to more than 100. The obvious downside to that thinking is that the older they get, the younger the woman would become. So, an 81-year-old and an 18-year-old bringing the total to 99? For me, that's gross!

Now, having said all this, there are some young women who actually go for older men, i.e. old enough to be their fathers at least. But some are going on the premise that these men are independent and sufficiently mature (mentally and otherwise). Plus, even if they have children, those offspring are now old enough to have their own lives.

But those old guys don't have to go looking for the lovely lasses. On the contrary, the lovely lasses go looking for them and usually they hit it off within a few moments of initial meeting. When an old geezer has to be 'trying to break down' her defences, then there's no mutual fire. The real 'old gallis', the type Merciless sang about, just has an air about him that makes the girls can't get enough. The only air some of these crusty, chummy users have is body odour and bad breath; maybe from years of smoking and drinking.

So let me give a little advice to the gents: First off, there is a difference between playing hard to get and just being uninterested.

If she tells you she has a boyfriend and has no intention of leaving him for a younger guy, she probably won't leave him for you. If she continues to turn down your dinner invitations, it's not because she's never hungry; she's just not interested. If, by some chance she does give you a number, but every time you call it, someone else answers the phone, she might have given you the wrong number on purpose.

I will say, however, that many of these young women already have an older guy in their lives; he's called grandpa.

Stay forever young at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.