Yahneake Sterling, Staff Reporter

Women by nature have the power to make any man fall in love with them, bring him to his knees, to leap over mountains and swim rivers to fulfil her every desire - or so they say.

Men have always been seen as shy of commitment, but numbers are growing as most modern men now suffer from commitment phobia.

But what is commitment phobia? According to Wikipedia, the term was coined in 1987 by Steven Carter in his book Men Who Can't Love.

The term refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but it is often much more pervasive.

Jackiehas been with Jakefor eight years, and for her, the road to marriage seems to lead to eternity.

"We've been together since high school and through college, and at 25, I think we should be making plans to marry and start a family, but every time I bring up the subject, he changes the topic," she told Flair.

Jake's excuse - he is not ready as he plans to study more. "I have to get my master's first, when he got it, he said, I have to do my Ph.D., then buy a home first."

Frustrating

Naturally, this is frustrating for Jackie, who thinks that they can live luxuriously on their salaries.

"I think he is just afraid to commit and I don't know how to change his view on commitment," she said.

Marriage and family therapist Dr. Sidney McGill notes that some men have a difficulty being emotionally intimate. This, he says, can also mean that these men will have problems with commitment.

"Usually this primarily has to do with a fear of exposure, intimidation and a fear of exposing delicate areas of their life to the one they love," Dr. McGill explained.

While there are no hard-and-fast rules on how to get your boyfriend to commit, Dr. McGill has outlined a few suggestions:

He needs to know you trust him. And you need to tell him often that you not only love him, but you trust him.

Talk about emotional things, some of the concerns you have and speak about one's strengths and weaknesses. Make sure he has your undivided attention.

Be understanding about his feelings. This will help you to develop a bond with him that he has never had before.

Be careful when dealing with conflict. If you are angry, never disrespect him - he must feel that despite the disagreement, you respect him and will not withdraw from him emotionally.

When it comes to sexual experience, it is important that you are an equal participant in the act. You can sometimes take the initiative to have sex and you also should try to let it vary so that it does not become boring and monotonous. Change the sexual positions and locations frequently.

It is important to know what his life goals are. Hopefully you share them too (compatibility of goals is important). It is important to support him in his goals and to buy into his vision.

If you are really interested to commit yourself to him, it is important to get to know his family and their history. (Are the men in his family in committed relationships? If they are not, it is likely that he may not commit.)

Get your man to accept the fact that he needs you and loves you.

After a few months, insist that your man introduce you to his family and friends and to anyone important in his life.

Guard against giving your man more than you really want to over a long period of time.

Name changed by request.