Hilary Robertson-Hickling

Congratulations to all those Jamaican men who take their role as fathers seriously, and best wishes for their good health and happiness. There are many factors which promote health and happiness which we need to identify for those who are currently unwilling or unable to discharge their fatherly duties.

There is some ambivalence about fatherhood in this society in which there are many who do not know their fathers do not have their father's name, or who feel resentful about the way their fathers treated them. This might explain the plight of some men who find that their children abandon them in their time of need. Perhaps some of those who are live on the street have been caught in that web. Some have meted out brutality to the women and children in their lives and have ended up badly, but they too need compassion.

Good fathers

On the other hand, many have good fathers, loving caring men who have made the necessary sacrifices for them, who have stood beside them through 'thick and thin' and are deserving of love and care in their time of need.

I saw a beautiful photograph of what appeared to be a father kissing his little daughter in a photograph in the annual exhibition of the School of Art. This is a reminder that there is need for more tenderness in our society which was born in brutality and seems to foster brutality daily.

The mental, physical and spiritual health of our men must become a priority as they are likely to die earlier than women because of a greater propensity for risk taking and failure to take care of themselves. More violent behaviour, more substance abuse, risky sexual practices, more road accidents, poor nutrition, all contribute to their demise. How can we explain the fact that at least half of Jamaica's Under-17 football team are already fathers? They are neither emotionally nor financially mature enough and in this homophobic environment, some are pressured by young women to prove that they are men and therefore capable of fathering a child. This inevitably leads to a cycle of disappointment and likely alienation from these youths and their youths. There is a paradox, for the countries which are now climbing out of poverty have stringent rules about the number of children a family can have. Billionaires like Bill Gates have one wife and two children while some who cannot feed themselves 'father' many.

Role of a father

The evidence about the role of the father in the well-being and development of children is now clearly identified. The work of Barry Chevannes and others in the Caribbean have also demonstrated the importance of fatherhood to most men, hence much more work will have to be done to encourage and reward fathers. Everyone has an earthly father but I suspect that some of our religious fanaticism, as well as our vulnerability to 'dads and big men' is the result of our efforts to experience fatherly love.

The love of a father is evident in the pride, sense of security, respect, and confidence exuded by a person who has been cherished by a good father, grandfather, stepfather or otherwise. Every person really needs this love to grow; we need to spend more time showing people how to do it well.