The story of little Teddy Studdart, derived from the book Three Letters from Teddy by Elizabeth Ballard, tells the tale of how we can build resilience in children who think that their lives are full of misfortune.

Fae Thomas, counselling psychologist, related this story to a group attending the Victoria Mutual Marriage and the Family Series in Kingston.

The story begins with an elementary school teacher, Mrs. Thompson, who stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school and told a lie.

Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible. Because there in front of her, slumped in his seat, was a little boy name Teddy Studdart.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children; that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath, and Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point that Mrs. Thompson would actually mark his paper with a red pen in bold Xs, and putting a big fat F on top of his paper. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review every child's past record, and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file she was in for a big surprise.

A bright child

Teddy's first-grade teacher wrote: 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh, he works neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around.'

His second-grade teacher wrote: 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because he has a terminal illness. Life at home must be a struggle.'

His third-grade teacher wrote: 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest. His home life will soon be affected if some steps aren't taken.'

Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote: 'Teddy is withdrawn and he doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends. He sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now Mrs. Thompson realised the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright papers, except for Teddy's.

This present was clumsily wrapped with a brown paper bag he got from the grocery. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the students started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume, but she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Studdart stayed after school that day just long enough to say: 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smell just like my mother used to.'

After the children left, she cried for an hour, and on that very day she quit teaching reading and writing and arithmetic, instead she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seems to come alive, the more she encouraged him the more he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy became one of the smartest children in the class; despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her pets.

A year later, she retrieved a note from under her door from Teddy telling her that she was still the best teacher he every had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, came third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after, she got another letter, saying that while things have been tough at times, he stayed in school, had stuck with it and soon will be graduating from college with the highest honour. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and most favourite teacher he ever had.

Bachelor's

Then another four years passed, and yet another letter came from Teddy. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's, he had to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher, but now his name was a little longer.

The letter was signed: Theodore F. Studdart, M.D.

The story doesn't end there. There was yet another letter. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple years ago, and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

At the wedding, the teacher and student hugged each other, and Dr. Studdart whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you for making me feel important, and showing me that I could make a difference.'

Mrs. Thompson, with tears welling up in her eyes, whispered back: 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

Information taken form the Victoria Mutual Marriage and the Family series, June 2006.