Tym GlaserSORRY, FOLKS, but after two days of tepid Test action at Lord's, I've seen nothing to suggest anything but a whitewash for the West Indies in the Old Dart.
Go visit your local obeah man or bus' out a rain dance, because the only thing that can save the Windies from a complete rout over there, is a month-long blizzard.
In every facet of the game the tourists are overmatched against their hosts. England bat better and deeper and bowl better with far greater variety and, to make matters even worse, the Poms will only improve when brittle skipper Michael Vaughan and equally fragile pedal-boat skipper Andrew Flintoff return to the fray.
Watching the Windies bowl is like seeing the same guy from both ends all day. The team possesses four right-arm seamers who bowl basically the same pace and with virtually no variety in bounce and movement - be it swing or seam.
At least the retired Ian Bradshaw offered a left-arm angle and his fellow Bajan in reserve, Fidel Edwards, has genuine pace. Maybe a spinner would not have been effective in these benign early summer conditions but at least it would give the England batsman a different look and test out-there techniques.
I'm not saying a guy like Dave Mohammed is a Shane Warne in waiting but England have been susceptible to spin to near disastrous levels in the past.
I have watched Chris Gayle bowl for years now and don't think I've seen him turn one yet. So for the new coach, David Moore, to say he's the best spin option in the Caribbean is a bit like watching a bad horror movie - it's a little scary but basically pretty funny.
bail-out
Any West Indian bail-out will have to come from the batsman and I have no faith that this line-up can make runs against the moving ball on a consistent basis.
With the exception of Shiv Chanderpaul - and perhaps a more mature Ram Sarwan, they are technically deficient and will be constantly tested by the pace and bounce of Steve Harmison, the speed and line of Flintoff, the swing of Matthew Hoggard, (and probably Simon Jones), and the attacking left-arm spin of the iconic Monty Panesar.
Don't get sucked into the argument that this England side is no good. Sure, they got thumped 5-0 in the Ashes series Down Under and had a horrible World Cup campaign out here, but they are not a good one-day side and some of those losses in Australia were a lot closer than the scores indicated.
Also in Oz, they were without home Ashes heroes Vaughan, Jones and Marcus Trescothick while captain Freddy was playing on one leg and Harmison didn't turn up mentally until the series was over.
All round, England are justifiably the second best Test team in the world behind only Australia and will probably start favourites for the coveted urn at home in two years time.
The Windies, on the other hand, now have to take their licks in the post-Brian Lara era and seriously look at rebuilding around a strong core. Why young talents like Kieron Pollard and Lendl Simmons and Mohammed aren't even in the touring party while repeat tried-and-failed offenders have been selected is beyond me.
Somewhere, some time, the broom's got to come out and a proper clean out of the side has to take place. Now would have seemed the right time with expectations so low following the World Cup flop and Lara's departure.
But no, said the selectors and the West Indies Crony Board (WICB).
Oh well, maybe the clean out should start somewhere else.
tym.glaser@gleanerjm.com
