Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

I'm a young adult with all my dreams and aspirations. I would like to get my doctorate and push my career further. Marriage and children are in my thoughts. I know it is difficult to be a superwoman, but others have made it and I think it is possible for me.

- Marcia

Dear Marcia:

Youths are full of ideas, thoughts and dreams. When you are a young adult, one thinks that all is possible and that you are invincible.

As we develop, we search for love, a partner and getting married. Children are part of the package, with the house in the suburbs and the family car and pets. You look forward to these things, as well as visualising yourself with the MBA and being the chief executive officer with the corner office. Money should be flowing and the world at your feet.

In planning you have to make allowances for the unforeseen, the unexpected and the good fortune. Think positive at all times and expect the best. Be prepared to be persistent and self-driven. The world is always full of opportunities, but we don't always see them.

Make and keep friends, because you will always need them. Remember to be kind to those you pass on the way up because you may see them on your way down. Life is full of ups and downs and you can't predict the future.

Believe in God and give thanks with a grateful heart. Life is about gradual progress with small steps. Keep the faith.

Midlife crisis

Dear Counsellor:

I am a middle-aged woman whose children are grown. These days, I find that time lingers. I havea job and I am thinking of doing something else. I had found it difficult to cope when the children were younger. What are your thoughts?

- Angela

Dear Angela:

Life is about changes, for better or for worse. Different activities are performed in different stages of our lives. When the children are young, most of the time is taken up with child-rearing, babysitting and homework. As the children grow older we can devote time to spouse, friends, extended family, career and church.

There is a lot that can be done. If you are in one of the professions you can join the various organisations and contribute to the development of your profession. Career change or advancement is something to be considered at midlife. Opportunities abound in the marketplace as to what jobs we want to be involved in. Many skills are transferable and one might find fulfilment in other areas. I read recently of an elderly lady attending college to get a degree. There are limitless activities available.

Be active in your church. You can teach Sunday school or join the various organisations. Having monthly or weekly prayer meetings is a good way to getting your spiritual needs met. When you socialise with others, you will find that you get inspired and feel satisfy with your life?

Many people are feeling dissatisfied and disenchanted with their life. They feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness. These people tend to withdraw within themselves and become isolated. Youneed to get involved with your extended family and friends. Life is too short to spend your time worrying about what you don't have. Rejoice and thank God for what you do have.

Contact Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or 791-1778, or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.