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Stabroek News

Separating gracefully
published: Friday | May 11, 2007


Heather Robinson

In 1984, my position was made redundant. In my exit interview with the president of the company, he told me, "Don't burn your bridges behind you."

It was excellent advice. It served me well when I decided in June of 1996 that I could no longer serve as the Member of Parliament for St Catherine South Central. My letter of resignation consisted of two sentences. The first stated that I had resigned and, in the second, I extended my best wishes to the Parliament.

The resignation having been read into the records of the Parliament, members of the media tried to get exclusive interviews from me.

This was not to be. I simply explained that I would be returning to my job at Life of Jamaica, the next morning.

Go quietly

The fact that life goes on after separation is one of the many lessons life has taught me. There is no point in antagonising and irritating those with whom you once worked or served.

It is best to go quietly, especially when it is common knowledge that your resignation was requested. What is the point of giving a 30-minute radio interview, in which you complain about the nature of the organisation of which you wish to remain a part?

How can you restore trust with your comrades when you complain about the party's "dirty underbelly"? Why should the party leader accept and use your active support and help, after all of your various pronouncements?

Jamaica is a very small place, and perhaps this explains why many believe that learning to separate gracefully is the best way to end a relationship.

There are many marriages that have ended, but there is no malice between the ex-husband and the ex-wife. The relationship remains civil and civilised and both can call on each other for help and assistance when necessary. Persons looking on will wonder if they really are divorced, and never a word is said publicly about the reasons for the divorce. Both continue with their lives.

In the work environment, separations can be harsh and cruel. Painful remarks are made and many workers expect that after such outbursts they will be quickly employed elsewhere. No employer wants to hire a 'trouble-maker', regardless of how good a worker one is. Workers, therefore, need to be aware of the type of reputation that they develop. There is always a tomorrow.

How the separation process is conducted is another area of concern. Letters of resignation are not supposed to be delivered at the graveside of a member of the organisation.

Years later, this will haunt one's efforts to be employed into positions for which one assumes one is the most qualified.

Individuals need to do good deeds during their lifetime, and refrain from forcing us to remember them simply because of how they conducted themselves when separating.

Grace and dignity

British Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced his intention to resign as Labour Party Leader and Prime Minister.

He has done so in a way that many admire and will remember. He has exuded the grace and dignity that befits his office. We can only wish him well, while at the same time many will continue to be angry every time they see the face of President George Bush of the United States.

Bringing a relationship to an end is never easy. However, how we go about informing others of this will in large measure determine how we continue to live our lives. There is a popular proverb that reminds us that 'empty barrels make the most noise'.

All of us must remember that life goes on, and leaving with grace and dignity will assist one in making the transition. Anger and vitriol do not bear productive fruit.


Heather Robinson is a life underwriter and former Member of Parliament.

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