Leethan Grandison, Outlook Youth Writer

You must have heard the popular maxim that honesty is the best policy, and in fact, have been trained to speak the truth at all times.

Many of us, however, do nottake too kindly to criticisms, maybe because the persons doing the criticisms are crude. So here are some tips from Outlook Youth to persons who see the need to be critical, the aim being that your comments will not come across as offensive. But you will get the person to respond and improve accordingly.

Keep it balanced

Do not attach personality deficits to your criticism; if you do start to bring up personality deficits then your comments may be interpret as an ad hominem attack.

Use appropriate language

The very words you speak can make a difference, so use the language relevant to the issue. If you have a severe criticism you may soften the effects by starting with something like: "It seems to me ... " or "I could be wrong, but ... " Also, do not overstate the problem by using "always", "never" or "worse".

Get your facts

The effectiveness of constructive criticism depends much on the credibility of the source, so avoid basing your comments on factual errors.

Keep emotions in mind

Offering effective criticism requires you to neutralise any unreliable elements of emotion. To a certain degree, you must take the person's feelings into account; it may not be possible to spare him/her some measure of embarrassment, but over-humiliation is mean-spirited and counterproductive. On the same accord, your own feelings need to be kept into consideration as they are susceptible to bias and can be used as a tool to discredit you.

Focus on what can be done

Refer to specific opportunities for improvement and steer clear of singling out shortfall. Keeping your criticisms positive is both considerate and essential. It's less disparaging for the person to hear that he has overlooked an opportunity than it is to be told that his current ideas are incompetent or defective.

Put yourself in their shoes

One of the more potent steps you can take before delivering criticism is also among the simpler and more compassionate ones: Stop for a moment and remind yourself what it's like to be in those shoes. You feel vulnerable, under direct attack and it's human nature to become defensive in the extreme.

Utilise reason, not personal preference

Criticism of any kind bears an innate bias, but you can overcome that by remembering that comments grounded on reason are less open to counter-arguments, both valid and otherwise. It's difficult for anyone to defend nonsense against the strength of logic.

Allow explanation

It's to your psychological advantage to pause between criticisms and allow the person a chance to explain himself. The act of offering an explanation, however weak it may be, is intellectually satisfying as it keeps the person's ego intact (somewhat) while preventing them from becoming overwhelmed.

Tell it Like it is

Giving good, constructive criticism will probably not win you too many immediate friends, but neither should it create a host of enemies. When delivered with a consistently proper balance of tact and authority, it will earn you something better: an enduring respect and a greater degree of productivity from the people around you.

Some information provided by:

http://www.iwmf.org/training/constructive.php

http://www.bankersonline.com/operations/bg_criticism.html

For the most interesting teen issues and styles, get your copy of Youthlink magazine on news-stands on Tuesday.