Beverley East, Contributor
Every family has one. You know, that colourful character who is so different from the rest of the family. These are the ones who either don't work, but expect you to support their every whim, or they are the ones who believe that work is not part of their nature or vocabulary.
They turn up late at every family function, they are disruptive, they claim that they are been overlooked or not loved like the rest.
Don't deny it. They get on your last nerves, butbecause they are your own flesh you show compassion, no matter what. With just a slight tinge of resentment, you do it anyway. If you are lucky there is only one member in your family who is like this.
I have a host of them in my family (mainly from my mother's side) and they push my buttons in every direction.
I am suggesting whatever angst you are going through with any of your family members take the same skills you use to deal with them and apply it in the work place.
Family feuds are a training ground from which you can learn lifelong skill. Your co-workers become like your family, believe it or not. You spend just as much time with them as you do your real family and often you may feel the same kind of tension at work you feel at home.
So use those skills that your family has helped you to develop over the years; let them work for you in the work place too.
Here are your castof characters:
1 Aunt Whiner
Woo is me. No matter what is going on in her life, she is never happy, never satisfied. It's always someone else's fault that she has not achieved what she had set out to do.
How to deal with her
Listen and give her the silent treatment - you have heard it all before, and will hear it all again. She does not want your help, she is in a permanent state of ingratitude and can only see the downside of things.
2.Uncle Argumentative
Somehow you get caught up in the crossfire and become a bone of contention even when you know you have done nothing wrong.
How to deal with HIM
Rather than trying to defend yourself or play referee, stay well clear of arguments that you have no business being a part of. Everyone seems to like to jump in which only makes matters worse. Unless it is about you, stay out.
3. Cousin Entitlement
This sense of entitlement is the one that drives me to despair. The cousins come empty-handed bringing nothing to the table. At the workplace, such persons may have been employed because somebody knows somebody who gave them the job in the first place.
How to deal with them
You are in a no-win situation here. Even when they are wrong, they are right. You cannot complain about them because it is management that put them there in the first place. Just be sure you cover your back. Dot your i's and cross your t's. Leave a paper trail of your own work. If they cannot do their job their lack of ability will shine through every time, you need not do anything to expose them you are itching to do so.
4 Cousin Unreliable
They never do what they say they are going to do. Always behind on every single project.
How to deal with them
Set an earlier deadline that they can work from that gives you aample time if they are running late. Have your ducks in order so whenever they finally finish what they set out to do you are ready to run with the rest of the project. Using them as an excuse for their lateness won't save your good name.
5 Cousins drama Queen and crisis King
Excuses, excuses, no matter what is going on they have an excuse for everything. It is hard to show any compassion from them because you have heard it all before.
How to deal with them
Step back, no matter how much you feel you need to help. Move away. Don't offer any advise you will be drawn into a web of confusion and chaos. Slowing down your day if not your week.
It is easy to be sucked in, but don't be. The drama will subside until they create the next one, that is how they survive don't succumb to it
6. Second Cousin, The borrower
They never have money.
How to deal with them
Lend only what you can afford to lose. When you lend money you open yourself up become that person's banker. They will always be a need for them to borrow from you. (I'm not referring to those who borrow and pay back). These are the ones who constantly are in need, but never seem to have a way to pay back what they have borrowed.
In the end, the keys to dealing with these characters are patience, compassion and our own level of discipline that keeps you from being sucked into to their needs and their world of chaos. In the past, I have called some of these characters, vampires.
They will of course try to consume you with guilt. Try to suck you in and make you feel that you are the one who is unworthy and uncaring. But the more you give of yourself, the more they take and take and keep on taking.
Handle yourself with care and weave your way through your office chaos to be a productive co-worker. It is frustrating I know. But you will survive them. You have managed to survive your family right? So consider these people at work your extended family. You are just not tied by blood to them. Thank your family for giving you the skills to survive these people at work.
Have a productive week.
I welcome your emails at writefully_yours@hotmail.com.
