Paul H. Williams, Gleaner Writer

My Mother Who Fathered Me is a very popular scholarly work, which documents the struggles of single Jamaican female parents.

But, the story of the Jamaican man, who 'mothers' his children, has seldom been told.

Meet Danny McKenzie, a one-time resident of one of Kingston's toughest inner-city communities. His story is that of being a single Jamaican father who mothers his children.

Danny, a part-time newspaper vendor, is a little wiry man, who used to disturb my Sunday mornings with shouts of "Gleaner! Gleaner! Observer!"

Then, he disappeared for three whole months. One morning, out of the blue, I heard his tenor voice disturbing my Sunday morning jazz. I went to the door demanding an explanation for his long absence. His response was a bit unsettling, so I invited him to come back for a chat.

Financial constraints

Newspaper vending was not going the way he wanted it, because of serious financial constraints, and other personal reasons. So, he had resorted to doing more jobs like gardening and car washing, to make ends meet.

The last time I saw him, he was attempting to revive the newspaper-vending business. However, in that revival, he has been 'spinning his role', trying to find a foothold, for himself, and for his three children.

Danny is their main provider. Since the relationship with their mother ended, he gets only occasional help from her. Despite the hardship, Danny has no intention of abandoning his children, two boys and a girl. He washes for them and he cooks too, but he has not yet mastered the art of combing his daughter's hair.

"Certain comfort that the mother suppose to give to their kids, me as a father now mi affi jus play the same role." He emphasised, "And, I feel proud a it too, a feel proud." And, for a man who does not boast any great academic achievement, he helps them with their homework as best he can.

Danny's eldest child, a boy of 14 years who is in high school, wants to become an electrical engineer. When asked what plans he had to help fulfil his son's ambition, Danny got a bit pensive. "I don't know the plans right now, but a want him to trod through that channel ... but right now a can't say I have money for that."

Working very hard

His 11-year-old daughter, who is at all-age school, wants to attend Wolmer's High, and she is working very hard at the preparations for the Grade Six Achievement Test. With joy already jumping in his eyes, Danny exclaimed, "She promise mi sey a Wolmer's she going ... yeah man and a can see it pon har!"

The youngest child, a six-year-old boy, is having some challenges in primary school, but Danny believes he will pull through just like he did years ago, as a child.

For Danny, growing up was a rough-and-tumble life where distractions reigned supreme. He has seen it all, including the death of those he considered to be close. He interacted with friends, many of whom died young, but Danny was not deterred, even after gunmen killed two of his brothers.

Following the killings, Danny could not return to his community. He eventually moved with his children to the salubrious climes of rural St. Andrew, where they now live.

Danny says he is motivated by a similar life experience of a 'Rastaman' who was his neighbour some time ago. But it is his mother's experience as a single parent, after his father death, that makes him determined to stay with his own children until the end.

Even before his father died, Danny did not see much of the man. He was always out working and would be away for weeks. In essence, his father was there, but not around, according to Danny. He and his siblings were alone most times, without any guidance. His mother was in and out hustling here and there, sometimes playing the role of their father.

Life of instability

A life of instability was how he described it. But, this instability psychologically prepared him for the roles that he was to play in his adult life. His mother 'fathered' him, and he is now 'mothering' his own children.

Danny says he often sits with his children to explain the family situation to them. "Every likkle move me go through mi try fi siddung wid the two bigger one dem and discuss it wid dem, so is not me alone know what's going on, mi try fi mek dem understan."

He also say they have needs they do not pressure him for money. However, Danny's needs are greater - he wants a steady source of income to sustain his children.

"I would like the best for them ... As a struggling Jamaican I have to fight to get a brighter future," he said.

bludums@yahoo.com

His mother 'fathered' him, and he is now 'mothering' his own children.