Marigold Harding

Quite often the comment is made, "She is a nice lady," or 'she is very 'lady-like,"' Being called a lady is the highest compliment a woman can receive. Being a woman does not necessarily make one a lady. Candice Simpson-Gyles says, "A lady knows that beauty can fade her."

The term lady being used over many decades evolved to mean many new and different things: manners, attitudes, appropriate dress, courtesies, the high esteem in which she holds herself and others, and her sincere words of praise and thoughtfulness. All these will reflect her strong values and place her in the minds and hearts of those who know her.

Education

A lady, by today's definition, knows that educating herself in every possible way from higher education to the common sense manners, empowers her to become a woman of poise and accomplishment. Here is a checklist for being a lady:

A lady who is on a diet never talks about it at the table.

A lady never eats her lunch while driving.

A lady never asks dating couples when they are getting married, likewise, she never asks married couples when or if they are going to have children.

A lady respects other people's time, at office or at home.

A lady never asks professional friends for free advice in their area of speciality.

A lady, should she arrive late for an event, follows the usher's instructions, goes to her seat as quickly and quietly as possible.

A lady turns off her cellphone before entering a theatre, church, public function and private meetings.

A lady returns any item she borrowed in a timely manner and in the same condition she received it.

A lady never makes a date out of desperation.

A lady knows how to make others feel at ease.

A lady does not put her make-up on in public.

A lady does not kiss and tell after a sexual encounter of any kind.

A lady does not dump the contents of her purse for all to see.

A lady never paints her nails in public nor wears chipped nail polish.

A lady never adjusts her bra or bustline in view of other people.

A lady never asks another lady how much her outfit costs or what size is it.

A lady knows when it is acceptable to eat the garnish.

A lady knows when it is acceptable to drink through a straw.

When a lady has a bit of food lodged in her teeth and she cannot discreetly remove it, she excuses herself from the table to take care of the situation.

A lady does not add salt to her food before tasting it. She would never insult the cook in that way.

A lady does not crunch her ice.

A lady does not correct another person's grammar.

A lady does not brag, whine, or nag.

A lady never tells jokes that may embarrass others, especially if those persons are not in the room.

A lady never gossips.

A lady never whispers in the presence of others. If she has something to say that can not be said in the presence of others, she waits until she and the other person are alone.

A lady does not talk excessively about business at a social event.

A lady shows up on time for work.

A lady does not write personal correspondence on her business stationary.

A lady does not abuse the privileges of her expense account.

A lady treats email like any other correspondence. She expresses herself clearly and concisely. She knows that emails are never completely private as very often they are read on a computer screen in an office environment. If she is sending a copy to a second correspondent, she indicates who is sending a copy in the same way she would use 'c' at the bottom of a letter.

A lady does not lead men on.

A lady is cautious not to put herself in a harmful situation that could endanger her safety or compromise her own personal value system for living.

Manners, attitudes and social moves have changed so much over the years that our grandmothers' definition of being a lady hardly resembles today's expectations. Let us not lose sight of the rewards that being a lady can bring.