Socialisation has invariably taught us that there are defined and specific roles for both males and females. Whether it is in the home, school or the workplace, we learn that there are distinctive 'roles' that are absolutely male in nature.

Relationships are no exceptions when it comes to the application of this mindset instilled within us from birth. We are socialised into thinking that initiating a relationship should be left to the man; that it is one of his gender roles and, as such, he should make the first move.

Despite this belief, however, times are changing and the male-female dynamics have evolved, resulting in more females taking charge by being the initiators of a relationship. This has resulted in various comments from many persons who are of the 'old school' and believe that males should make the first move. There are others, however, who are in support of female liberation, stating that there is nothing wrong with a female who takes the initiative and becomes assertive.

There are some males who believe that a female initiating a relationship is a move in the right direction, in that it makes the man's 'job' easier and lessens the possibility of being rejected. Others, who are not threatened by a confident and independent girl, believe that this is a good thing, while there are some who say that a girl who asks a guy out is really imposing on his role as a male. Many females ask guys out because they may think they have found 'Mr. Right' and is really afraid of losing him, while others believe that if they like a guy there is nothing wrong with asking him out.

Outlook Youth questioned a group of males and females about whether or not females should ask a guy out. Here are their interesting responses.

Kezia, 21

"I guess I'm an old-fashioned girl, but I think it's the man's duty to approach the woman.

"A girl can flirt with a guy to indicate that she is interested but it's his prerogative to ask her out. If I asked a guy out because I liked him, I think he would be obliged to say yes if he is available; not because he really likes or wants me but because he feels like he can't say no or he'll be seen as gay."

Alicia, 19

"If a guy can do it then why can't the girl do it as well? Some guys would look at the girl differently because society says that a man should ask, and once you step outside of the norm then you may be seen as a 'skettel'. This is because the guy might think that you always do this with other guys, or that you are not really serious."

Meeckel, 19

"I believe that women should be proactive, so if they want someone go get them. That does not mean they should be a flirt though. I really don't think it's my job or duty to ask a girl out. I like girls who are independent, even sometimes controlling, but I don't want anyone to stick to me too much because clingy ain't good."

Peter, 23

"I don't agree with a female asking a male out because the role of the woman is to give hints and the role of the man is to be the predator. The Bible says the man should go out and find a wife, not the other way around.

"Doing this can be a sign of independence, but a man wants a woman who will depend on him sometimes, someone who he can treat and take care of. If she shows too much independence it can cause him to lose interest and think that she doesn't have the same interest in him, or that she won't take the relationship seriously."

What's wrong with an assertive female?

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