I received an interesting email in response to my 'Am I a spinster' article. The person said that men and women need each other, and that having a job, money, etc., was not everything. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and in no way did I mean that single ladies nowadays are so empowered that a guy is not required! But you raised these questions in my head - were each of us made to partner another? Is the ultimate goal to find that special soul? And if so, how do we recognise when it's there?

Many people believe that male and female should be together - we get married, we have children, and lo and behold, we form a family! The man and woman raise the kids, hopefully instilling good morals and values, providing an education and a start in life so that when grown, they may go out into the world and flourish. So much easier said than done, no? Look at us in Jamaica - most children are raised solely by their mothers. Where are the dads? Busy becoming biological fathers to others somewhere else.

'Baby Mummies'

So do these 'Baby Mummies' need a man? Absolutely! They could do with a person to share the financial burden, help discipline the kids and make important decisions that will affect their existence. Human beings yearn for a partner to comfort and hold them when they're exhausted from working, taking care of children and life in general. We like to know that there is indeed an individual we can trust, love and rely on no matter what happens.

Is this the definitive objective in life? Can another person complete us, or is it necessary to find inner peace and happiness before embarking on a healthy relationship? In a perfect world we might like to think that finding a soulmate will end all our troubles, but unless satisfied with who we are, then we should not count on a quick fix just because we are smitten with another. To love someone entirely, we must first love ourselves absolutely. Meaning, we should wake up every day liking and appreciating who we are and what we do, and knowing that we would not switch with anyone else.

Now, how can we tell if it's true love that we've found? And how do we know if it will last?

I believe in serendipity to a point - people walk in and out of our lives for different reasons because they're meant to. However, it's up to us to keep them there if a connection is formed. Love does not just plop itself into your lap and say, "Hello there. I'm what love is and no matter what, I'll always be here for you." Oh no, I'm afraid not! You have to be aware of an accidental coincidence when it hits you and then hold on to it for dear life if you don't want to lose it. And it's not going to survive unless you work at it. Too many couples in this day and age just can't be bothered to deal with the trials and tribulations that come with the beauty and bliss of a loving union.

The bottom line is, it won't kill us to be alone, but it might be quite nice to share the years with a certain sweetheart.

But please do not despair if you are still searching for that honey husband or wonderful wife. Your 'ideal' mate will not necessarily come in the package you previously perceived, be patient, get a new pair of glasses(!) and see that special someone when he/she comes along. You never can tell, he or she might be in front of you right now!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com