Tesi Johnson, Gleaner Writer

The threesome, or ménage-à-trois, is reputed to be a man's ultimate erotic experience, and last week we heard from the men who have indulged in the fantasy. But, this is not only about the men.

For the purposes of this article, two women plus one man, equals a threesome. So, by mere mathematics, the women are obviously the most important part of the equation.

Under the safety net of anonymity, they told Flair their stories.

Mercedes, 26

It happened the first time I hung out with Carlaand Collin(both in their mid 30s).

Carla invited me to her house to play games with her and some other girls. However, when I arrived she was the only one there and told me that Collin was on his way over.

I've always thought about girl-on-girl action, but never a threesome! I was concerned, but not scared.

We had dinner and afterwards played adult games that involved removing items of clothing. Eventually, I got to kissing her.

We moved to the bed where Collin began kissing me all over and, to my surprise, she allowed it. I coaxed myself to relax and enjoy.

I focused on her, and then on him. He had sex with her and then with me.

The following morning Carla and I had breakfast and neither of us spoke of what happened.

It was a great experience. I've completed yet another fantasy and I know they had fun too. But it did affect me emotionally.

I think that there were things that we should have spoken of beforehand. Maybe they planned it that way because if I had known I might not have gone along with it.

I haven't done it with that couple again because Carla is extremely jealous.

I have been in several threesomes since and the implications remain the same. The girl gets jealous and makes comparisons, questioning, "Why you do that to her and you don't do it to me?", "Why do you touch or kiss her like that?" It leads to a high degree of insecurity that brings out a very ugly jealous rage.

Darsha, 25

It's annoying really, all these "bi-curious" women developing "bi-tendencies" just for the pleasure of a man.

Anyway, my first time was with a girl who already had "relations" with my best friend so I was not attracted to her sexually, but we hung out and partied a lot. I did notice her 'divine' body, nice skin and great attitude.

I was at that point in my life where I decided that I really prefer women to men but one day she says, "Mi know yu nuh deh pon the man thing again BUT me and mi boyfriend really want yu!" This is after months of hinting and me playing dumb.

I think my reason for getting involved was the transitional period in my life sexually. I figured sex with people who I'm not attracted to would give me a more objective outlook on this important decision.

Needless to say, I spent the night pushing her gentleman friend off me and his night ended with him pleasuring himself while watching us go at it.

Now I'm exclusively with women.

Flirting with danger

Provided you are comfortable with your sexuality, it is just dandy to allow another woman to join you and your partner in protected sex. Hey, the more the merrier - or is it?

Flair spoke with marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist, Dr. Sidney McGill, on the emotional and psychological ramifications of engaging in such sexual behaviour.

He explained that human sexual orientation is actually fluid, so some heterosexual women might actually entertain the notion of having sex with another woman on occasion. However, he asserts, "I would not recommend a threesome for a couple seeking to 'spice up' their sex life. Though physically exciting, enjoyable and erotic, it is very destructive. In the long-term, it causes damage by eroding trust and compromising the state of the committed relationship."

This was evident in Mercedes' experience where she noted other women's imminent jealously after the act.

"Once you breach a committed relationship that way, you are adding more than just spice," continues Dr. McGill. He went on to explain that sex is not only a physical act, but also a spiritual and emotional one, so you are involving yourself on various levels with this 'intrusion' of sorts.

"When the 'love' in a relationship is defined to mean 'we have fun and satisfy each other', then what the couple share is really 'lust', not actual love, and that is when you find these third parties become involved," says the good doctor.

When a couple is in love, in the correct sense of the word, in order to preserve the relationship, it is best to avoid such encounters.

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