If I had known this Polished Professionals - table talk topic would be in such demand, I would have given it more priority earlier this year. There have only been two other subjects which have drawn so many emails: 'resume revamp' queries and 'recognising your vampires.' I have been overwhelmed these past few weeks with table talk queries. Thank you all for your letters. Some are duplicated questions, but here are a few.

Dear Ms. East:

Yesterday, the 15th of this month I saw your article in the Sunday Gleaner of the 8th of this month. I must say I agree with you one hundred per cent! I'm a waiter at a hotel and was a butler once, and let me tell you.. sometimes I get so frustrated when guests don't know the simple settings on a dining table and how to use the utensils. What I don't understand is if you don't know ... why not ask? better yet, look around the table before you start eating and see what others are using in the hope that someone knows.

The next thing is this, why do guests knowing that they are attending a banquet or dinner party at 7:00 p.m., turn up an hour or more later, after everyone is seated and sometimes after the guests have already eaten the starter course? To make matters worse, they want to be served the full course even when they came in midway through the meal. Please tell me, is this right? Also what is the proper procedure? Thank you and I look forward to your answer. I always read your columns and find them very interesting.

Dear Sir:

I feel your pain. I stopped entertaining in Jamaica for the same reason - lateness. I love to throw dinner parties but after all the work I put into it and my guests turn up late spoils all the efforts to entertain and pamper them. Most people are terrible time keepers which is a real shame.

People who show up halfway through the dinner should not be served the first course but start their meal wherever the meal is. It's like taking a train, if you miss it's not coming back for you. Meals should not be served backwards. However, having said this, you must follow the rules of the hotel or you may find yourself out of a job and I would not want that. Anyone who is reading this comment and is guilty of being constantly late at dinner events consider yourself unprofessional and rude. Find a way how you can make a change with your time keeping in the future. it would aid everyone, not just yourself.

Dear Ms. East:

Thanks a lot for your information although you may push me to make a next scrap book soon. You have taught me so much, I just have to wonder what I have been learning for all my 28 years of life. Your article 'Polished professionals - table talk,' again taught me my table manners. Ms. East you make me wonder why when we attend these colleges or universities they don't have a small course on how to have good table talk instead of embarrassing ourselves and having that 'first degree' or 'masters in whatever we choose', with no knowledge of table manners when we go for a simple dinner or one you went to. We may look a bit foolish in our bling and the titles behind our names but not knowing the B M W. What do you think and would you teach this to upcoming professionals? Please don't stop and keep up you great work.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for your kind words. I think many institutions consider table manners and basic manners are 'life skills' which it is assumed are taught at home and not academic skills which needs to be certified. You can begin to practise at home now, no matter what age you are. My mother got a book from the library when my sister and I were very young and taught us the basics. As we were always the only blacks at functions during the late 50s in London, my mother wanted us to be prepared for any situation. At the time of her teaching us, we both thought it was unnecessary and hated the Sunday ritual of a table full of cutlery and glasses, but I am in fact greatly appreciative of her efforts as these 'life skills' served us well. Over the years my company has been hired to present 'polished professionals to American and British corporations. It may be something I would consider to present to individuals sometime next year. I will keep you posted if we decide to bring it to Jamaica.

Dear Ms. East:

I have seen some portly males dining in restaurants with the napkins tucked into the front of their shirts. I observed that they had no laps as their paunches prevented them from sitting with their knees together and also pushed them away from the table so that food had to travel some distance from plate to mouth. What is the most practical and acceptable thing for them to do with the napkin to protect their shirts? I look forward to your reply.

Dear Reader:

For a moment you had me stumped and I had to really consider the practical answer without offending my large-framed readers. Then two nights ago I went to a restaurant and there was a portly man dining, sitting exactly as you have described in your letter to me. I watched him carefully. He had no napkin but carefully brought the food to his mouth. He was very graceful. I, on the other hand, was gently nudged and told to stop staring. I would add if a napkin is going to be used it can be placed on the highest area of his chest. His chest being high enough, it will stay without falling.

Dear Ms. East:

I am just curious how you make everything seem so simple for these matters of etiquette. I'm just curious. Where did BMW come from? Did you see it in a book? I searched it on the Internet but found nothing.

Dear Reader:

When I was growing up I was overwhelmed with so much information being raised in two cultures - my British half and my Jamaican half. I found if I remembered things by what is important to me it sticks. My mother taught me when I sat at a formal table to remember her with this sentence " Bring a basket for your Mother, it will make her Well." And then as we got older as a teenager my sister taught me to just say "Bob Marley and the Wailers" - so that's how the BMW table talk came about. Growing up in duality served us well.

Contact Beverley East by email at writefully_yours @hotmail.com.