Angela Philipps, Contributor

We are waiting, we are waiting, waiting for a nice man to ask us out (sung to the tune of Rod Stewart's We Are Sailing).

I moved back to Jamaica a couple of years ago, and waited and waited for someone to ask me on a date.

Fourteen months later I got a little tired of the waiting game - I mean I might not be Naomi Campbell or Cindy Crawford, but I am no croaking lizard (if I say so myself) and I can hold a conversation! So I asked a guy out, and it turned out to be one of the most fun dates I have ever been on.

I know it's not the traditional thing to do, but it is liberating and gives you an air of confidence that is quite irresistible to some men.

Men and women don't really 'date' each other in Jamaica. You might have a brief encounter in the romance department, or you might end up with a boyfriend. But what about 'dating'? You know, lunch, a movie, dinner, a concert, picnic at the beach? Nothing serious - just going on a series of dates with different people so you can get to know them before deciding who you really like, and if you want to move on to the next level with him. You've had an interesting and exciting few months, even years, without the deep emotional pressures, and it's all because you had the guts to ask them out yourself!

Ideas

I can hear some of you now, "That's just wrong. Men should always be the ones to ask women out," or, "There's no way I am ever going to ask a man out. That's his job." I can understand why you might say these things … Well actually, in this day and age I really can't, but who am I to judge? I am just throwing in a few ideas here - it's not gospel, and it certainly might not work for all of you. But it could work for most, if you simply give it a try.

Here's how it works: Pick up the phone and call him. Ask him if he would like to go with you to lunch, a movie, dinner, a concert or a picnic at the beach. If he says no, move on, you have lost nothing. If he says yes, well then you've missed the unbearable light of sitting at home alone.

Don't have the guts

Perhaps you don't have the guts to call and ask him out - seems a little too contrived or desperate to you. Why not do it while you are out in a group? Make sure at least one other person is around, and then ask him if he'd like to go out with you. Make it specific though, like, "X, why don't you and I go for lunch this week? How does Tuesday sound?" You are being direct, and in doing so in front of someone else, you show that this is just a casual thing and, in turn, it is less 'embarrassing'.

I know it's easier said than done. I met a man last week who asked if he could drop me home. I told him that he would have to pick me up first in order for there to be a 'drop me home' part. He asked for my number, but I did not give it to him. I told him there would be ways of him finding it. Well it turns out I got hold of his number and here I am sitting by the phone trying to pluck up the courage to call him! But the truth is, it is our turn to ask them out ladies, and next week, when this gorgeous man shows up at a party on the arm of another pretty woman, I will be kicking myself that I didn't call him. Could, woulda, shoulda.

- angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com