Ilsa H. duVerney, Contributor
More and more persons within organisations are signing up for courses in interpersonal skills. Employees need to know how to build and encourage productive relationships, especially in difficult human relations situations.
In order to manage and lead successfully, it is important to employ effective interpersonal skills to manage conflicts, win cooperation and to solve problems. Interpersonal skills are also needed to conduct negotiations and to sell ideas, products and services.
THE SKILL SET
Interpersonal skills include the habits, attitudes, manners, appearance, and behaviours we use around other people which affect how we get along with them. With heightened awareness regarding emotional intelligence, the value of honing interpersonal skills is becoming more obvious. The development of interpersonal skills begins early in life and is influenced by our families and friends and our observations of the world around us.
Most of these characteristics are passed on to us by our parents and guardians. However, it is felt that television and movies also influence us in this area. It is said that some aspects of interpersonal skills may even be inherited.
For us to improve our interpersonal skills, we need to first be aware of what we are like from the perspective of other people who interact with us. It is virtually impossible for us to change our behaviour if we are unaware of the impact our behaviour has on others. In order to improve our interpersonal skills, it is good to gain a better understanding of our own behaviour style. Understanding may be deepened by taking and analysing our behavioural assessments.
HELPFUL IN BUSINESS
Interpersonal skills can be very helpful in business as through effective use, the following results may be achieved.
You can:
Win more sales.
Improve your negotiating skills with suppliers.
Benefit tremendously in leading teams or being part of a team.
Minimise resistance to change.
Build relationships and win cooperation and support.
IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Here are some ground rules which we can apply to improve our interpersonal skills:
Recognise that people are born free and that we should therefore avoid speaking to them in a manner which is authoritarian or enslaving.
Build people up, we should not put people down. We should listen actively to what they have to say.
Treat all persons with respect (respect for them as individuals and respect for their time - we should not keep persons waiting). If for some reason we are going to be late, we need to communicate this to them, preferably ahead of time, and determine if they are available to wait.
Show interest in people - be approachable and warm- smile and make eye contact.
Maintain a positive perspective - look for solutions. Make people laugh and have fun even in difficult times.
Be flexible and fair, showing firmness when needed.
Show appreciation and give praise - avoid casting blame and aspersions.
Recognise that conflicts are inevitable and work at resolving conflicts.
Pay special attention to communication. Communicate with feeling and empathy; prepare what you have to say so that feelings may not be hurt.
Reach out to persons and show care and concern.
Be sincere, trustworthy and confidential.
GO WITHIN
In order to sharpen our interpersonal skills, we should first go within and be at peace intrapersonally. If we have fears, stress, lack self-esteem and are insecure, this will surface and will certainly affect our interpersonal relationships. Having strengthened ourselves internally, we will have the capacity to reach out to others who become our opportunity to self-actualise and to reveal our authentic selves.
Ilsa H. duVerney, an HRD/process consultant, is managing director of Productivity Plus Ltd. Email: ppl.hrd.duv@cwjamaica.com.
Taken from Wednesday Business, Aug 2, 2006
