Beverley East, ContributorMS. EAST:
FIRSTLY, LET me tell you that I find your articles extremely interesting and take many lessons from them from week to week.
As a young woman working in a non-profit organisation, this is supposed to be a dream come true as far as I am concerned. Social development and philanthropy have always been the goals of my professional life, even though it is not one that has yielded much longevity. Volunteerism is second nature for me and selflessness is my personality, which is reflected in how I look at life and what Jamaica needs more of.
However, my boss as well as some of my colleagues make it hard for me to approach my work/job with enthusiasm, as there is no team spirit or motivation. She seems to think that things can be achieved in a short space of time and doesn't realise that sometimes things have to be postponed in order to ensure proper planning and the best results. I know I have provided assistance and been available for suggestions or comments from anyone within the organisation.
CONDESCENDING TONE
Her tone is quite condescending and she feels she has to have the upper hand as far as decisions are concerned. I have told her the challenges that I have been working with, as well as what steps will be taken to work around them but she always seems to have to find some criticism or dissatisfaction with what the results end up to be.
In addition, my superior agrees with her most of the time even though she sees that I am doing my best with the resources we have.
I feel I have reached a crossroads regarding this post as I love working in this field and the culture is quite unique. This job does matter to me, but at the same time I need to see other colleagues playing their part to ensure the organisation's sustainability, not just me. I have been working there for almost a year and given my not-so-progressive resume, I know I need to stay there at least for a year.
What should I do? Look for another position in a similar field that motivates me, especially given its networking opportunities for future jobs or stick in there for another few years?
DEAR READER:
YOU ARE not alone. I receive so many letters from readers who are experiencing difficult bosses. Stay and fight. Don't let these bosses determine your future. You stay as long as it suits you. Learn all you can so when you are ready to leave, you are armed with valuable experience that can be transferred into your next position.
You have already invested a year in it and it sounds like you do like this position. If you have survived your boss a year, you can do another year or maybe two.
Each year should be easier for you. Learn from this experience. Look at what you can achieve. Bite the bullet and stay another year.
There is no guarantee that if you leave you will have a 'nicer' boss somewhere else. What are the lessons learnt from this experience? Ask yourself honestly, how can I do a better job? You may be making excuses for the lack of resources, but that is the animal of non-profit organisations. Find ways to be resourceful and creative. If you speak to any Jamaican teacher, he or she will tell you how they manage and become creative. Approach companies for supplies, funding, anything they can provide to be of assistance to your mission.
NOT ABOUT YOU
Also remember, with difficult people it is not about you. So don't take it personally. After a year, you know already what to expect from her. Difficult people feel they are gaining power, control by being difficult. But usually their bark is worse than their bite. They are usually insecure. She may never change, but do the best you can better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
If you can stay, you must take the bull by the horns, be more proactive. Arrange a meeting with her; find out what is it that she feels makes you so incompetent, and what is it that she would like to see done differently? Show her areas that you have done right and others have praised you.
It sounds like you have already made up your mind to leave. And are waning fast. If this job matters to you, just do your job to the best of your ability. Of course, everyone wants a cohersive team that will gel roll up their sleeves and be helpful to you. But this is what you have got and many organisations are run the same way. You may never be able to change the mindset of others, but you can change your mindset.
You should be accountable for your own actions. Listen to her criticism and don't take everything personally although it is directed at you. Difficult people challenge us to be better, to examine ourselves. Look at your boss as a disciplinarian rather than as a difficult person. You will learn many lessons from her even though at the moment you cannot see them.
Difficult people challenge us in our ability to communicate better. They increase our level of patience, they raise the bar in the way we approach our projects and they certainly make us stronger.
HOW TO SURVIVE
Do not carry all the personal attacks forward into the next day.
Approach each day with a new sense of vigor.
On weekends find something fun to do so the job doesn't take over your life.
Let off steam every now and again by leaving the building and meeting someone for lunch.
If you work near Emancipation Park, join the many walkers, joggers exercisers who utilise the park to get rid of their stress.
Whatever you see, she sees in you. Negative thinking keeps you stuck. When you judge her, you punish yourself on the spot. So if you send her some light, the light will shine back at you. So hang tight, better days are ahead. You are just paving your path for a secure future. Keep those boxing gloves on and stay in the ring.
You can email your comments to writefully_yours@hotmail.com.
