Q Doc, I am in real despair about this question of sex and contraception. I am a Gleaner reader in Miami. And I am sure that I am never going to find a kind of 'birth control' that will let me enjoy a real good sex life with men.
I am a girl of 19, and people say that I am real attractive. Certainly, I have no problem in attracting guys! I get many 'offers' every week - most of which I refuse.
I have been with around six or seven guys so far, but mostly things seem to go a little wrong in bed. This is because I really do not want to become pregnant, since I have my career to think of.
So I usually tell the boy that he must not 'go all the way,' and that he must 'pull out' at the last moment.
I have found that American and Jamaican men do not like this. They want to go right ahead, and discharge inside me.
So I have been trying out various kinds of contraception. I got some of those 'female condoms,' but they were no good. I could not work out how to put them inside me.
Also, I am not too keen on those 'male condoms.' Men don't seem to like them either.
Then I bought some 'chemical contraceptives' from a Miami pharmacy. They were little tablets that the girl is supposed to put in her vagina before sex. I did this, but they just created an enormous amount of foam during sex. The guy I was with did not like this. He told me where he felt like he was fighting a fire!
So what can I do, doc? I want to have a real good sex life, but I do not want to become pregnant. Please give me good advice.
AI am sorry to hear that you have had difficulties with contraception. But it is praiseworthy that you want to use 'family planning' and so avoid spoiling your career through an unwanted pregnancy.
However, forgive me if I make the point that it is not wise to sleep with lots and lots of men. That can lead to all kinds of troubles, including chlamydia infection and VD.
Now let us turn to the question of what contraception you could use. Apart from what you have already tried, the following possibilities are open to you:
The Pill. This enables you to have 'spontaneous' sex, and will also control your menses;
The Mini-Pill (progestogen-only Pill). You take this every day, and you can have sex whenever you wish;
The Coil (IUD) medicated or otherwise. This gives you good protection against pregnancy, and will not interfere with your love-life;
The Shot ('the jab'). An injection which gives a very high degree of protection against conception, but which can make the menses irregular.
The Implant. This is placed under your skin, and gives you nearly 100 per cent protection against pregnancy.
The Hormone Patch. You wear this on your skin, and it too gives real good protection.
The Cap or Diaphragm. I am not sure if this is widely available in Miami, but it too is a good method. You put it into your vagina a little while before having sex so as to make a 'barrier.'
One final point: you have been trying to persuade guys to 'pull out.' This is called the 'withdrawal method' and it is not a very safe method of contraception. Also, as you have discovered, many men are real reluctant to withdraw when the crucial moment occurs.
QIs it safe to ignore a toothache, doc?
A Not really. A toothache generally means that there is something wrong in the tooth or gums. It is best to try and see a dental surgeon within the next couple of days.
QThe doctors say they need to put a telescope up the rectum to look at my bowel. But is this agonising, doc?
ANo. This common investigation is a little uncomfortable, but not agonising.
QDoc, I am a virgin, and I am fretting about something. If I have sex with a guy, would it be possible for him to accidentally pass water inside me?
AThat would be almost impossible since men
cannot pass urine while the penis is erect.
