Mr. and Mrs. Sanford at the family Christmas lyme in Sanguinetti Clarendon, on December 29, 2004. - RICARDO MAKYN/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER.
PEARLINE WAS 19 and Epel was 21 when they met; he operated a shop and he saw her passing and felt Cupid's arrow. He wrote to her of his feelings but she said no; he was too fat for her. But she later reconsidered. He says she couldn't resist him because he was a 'sweet boy'.
Fifty-eight years of marriage have passed and Epel and Pearline Sandford are still together, having raised seven wonderful children. And they did not have a splashy wedding either; the party comprised four and only the commemorative photograph was taken. But as was a requirement in the time that they dated, he had to get permission to court her. He complied and received the requisite blessing.
"Her parents loved me and gave me permission to visit at any time," Mr. Sandford recalled with a smile breaking at the corner of his lips and adding that back in those days people (women included), did not like 'cruff' (worthless men) and he certainly was not. His ambition made him a catch in his youth but he had found his mate in Pearline.
The consummate bread-winner of the family, Mr. Sandford has held various positions along his over 80 years from shopkeeper to a maker of war supplies during World War II in Bridgeport Connecticut and Yellowstone, Ohio. Back in Jamaica, he worked with the Ministry of Agriculture in various capacities, retiring as project officer. Mrs. Sandford at one point cherished hopes of migrating to greener pastures but opted to remain at home as a helpmate for her husband and mother to her children.
GOOD HUSBAND, FATHER
As they approach 59 years of togetherness, Mr. Sandford concludes that he would do it again. Mrs. Sandford says he has been a good husband and father who any woman would want. Admittedly, Mr. Sandford said at one time he had a roving eye but he stopped that as well as having the occasional drink. And he never allowed his children to see him inebriated.
There have been times when her Epel has not been very easy to get along with, such as his insistence that his meals be ready the minute he gets home, but she has learnt to live with that.
"He always seeks out the welfare of the family; we must have food at all times, even if we have no clothes and the children must go to school and church. They were not allowed to stop from school for any reason. If their shoes needed repairing, he would go to the shoemaker and wait for it. He was a farmer but he never stopped them from school to go to the farm. They only had to help on Ash Wednesday or some Saturdays."
After 58 years of marital experience, the Sandfords' advice to young couples is: "You must love each other; if there is no love it will not work. Know that every day will not be a bed of roses; if there is fire, use water to quench it and learn to take advice from each other. Sometimes one of you is wrong so learn to compromise; don't take decisions without mutual agreement and when the children come, never quarrel in front of them."
The couple further stressed that once young couples have decided to spend their lives together, they have to subdue some of their erratic ways. They caution against marrying for money or the wrong reasons because your happiness comes first. But most importantly, they advise being God-fearing, as He is responsible for what you are in life.
Perhaps the only persons who can see the love demonstrated by their parents are the children. The Sandfords' children had this to say about their parents.
