Amina Blackwood Meeks
WELL, MISS Lady sey what doan happen in a year happen in a day.
For look how long she deh pan Massa Gad worl an it never occur to har yet fe ask is what sweet Santa meck him always a laugh so.
Well, trust Likkle Miss Jing Bang. She nat only ask de question, she diagnose de ansa.
She sey de fus ting is dis. Santa know sey it have nuff people who bex till dem out fe bus if smaddy else laugh widout dem permission.
Inna classroom, if pikney laugh, teacher sey dem up to no good. Inna staff room, if teacher laugh, principal gi dem reprimand.
Inna office, if worker laugh, bass call up him colonial big stick an if de laughter threaten fe spread beyond de confines of de plantation complex, tax man come afta dem.
Is like people doan even have autonomy over wedda dem laugh or not.
UNDER CONTROL
She sey it come into har like Santa put him hand pan one a de study dem what sey controlling the laughter of a group becomes a way of exercising power by controlling the emotional climate of the group.
So nuff people unda so much control dat dem caan laugh widout de bass laugh an ge dem permission fe go an do likewise.
Even in de area of skinning dem teet, dem want smaddy fe direck an control it, all de betta if de smaddy come from farin.
So, him anoint and appint himself de controller of dat.
When Christmas come not a soul dare laugh before him give de cue ... ho, ho, ho. Ongly him wan know sey dem start laugh too quick.
If dem did wait likkle longer dem wudda hear when him sey 'An a bakkle of rum'. For him is really like a pirate. Him come to teck before him give.
But nuff people nuh realise sey first dem have to write de letta to beg what dem want. Dat cos fe de writing paper, de envelope and de stamp, right Senõr Santa Claus? Ho, ho, ho.
Den when dem come fe see him now, dem have to join long line and wait long time. Dat cos time outa dem job an ef dem work by contact hours, no contact no pay. Ho, ho, ho.
Den anybody who want pitcha wid him gots to pay for it. Ho, ho, ho.
NUH CARE BOUT SOME
Hear de ting now. JB sey Santa really is a likkle ginnal. Him a laugh how him pop people like we, who love talk bout Christmas is for everybody an a time fe sharing and caring fe all people who yu doant know.
JB sey she observe dat nutten nuh go so. Santa do not stop to care or share wid no Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, or other non-Christian homes.
An him a laugh how people who claim sey dem know betta into dis age of one global
village still a falla backa him into segregation obscenity. Ho, ho, ho.
Plus it sweet him how people a treat him like dem mussi tink sey him a God. Dem ascribe to him omnipresence.
Inna one night him go to bout hundreds of millions of a people yard.
Him all-knowing, inna every baddy business, monitor dem pikney when dem gaan Stone Love or whicheva love dem gaan, for how else 'im wudda know if dem good or bad.
Him have de powers fe know who want what, and is not obeah him work and him eternal, evey year all de year de same wid him bag a reward and sleigh full a punishment. Ho, ho, ho.
JB sey a de man dem mose of all Santa laugh after. She get wan email dat sey dat ascarding to some findings by some cold country authority "while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring."
WOMEN'S BURDEN
Therefore, ascarding to how dem maths it out, a soso hooman reindeer a carry Santa an him load fe all eternity an never lost yet, an never ask fe help an dun prove over and over again sey dem double competent and nutten nuh 'weaker sex' bout dem. Ho, ho, ho.
So, dis year, she sey she is tecking back control a fe har laughter. She a laugh firs. Widout permission.
LAUGH WIDOUT PERMISSION
She laugh all when nutten nuh sweet har. She walk pass some a de store dem wid dem high falutin price a ting what nobaddi nah buy an she laugh till har belly swell like Santa own.
For people gwaan like sey yu haffe have money fe happy and dem caan undastand how fe dem bank book a buss an dem lip wudden meck mistake fe skin back an show dem teet.
She a laugh till it bun all who tink sey if yu a laugh so much and dem caan see whey sweet yu, is because yu hup to no good.
Meck dem stay dey an try figure out an all who feel like how she feel can falla backa har and have de merriest Christmas ever. Ho, ho, ho.
