Stephen-Claude Hyatt
Dear Rev:
I am a young woman in my early twenties. My problem is I have been very promiscuous in my early teen days and it's like I have been labelled as a such. I can honestly say I have been with my new boyfriend going steady for over a year. My main question is how do I get pass being labelled?
Dear friend:
Your reputation is something that you should seek to protect at all cost.
I am hoping that the young
people in society are reading this, and will recognise the damage that can follow them if they fail to
protect their image.
I must say, however, that I am proud of the fact that you have
got your act together, and have now settled with one man. I am sure it was not easy, but you did it, which speaks volumes about your strength as a woman.
You will need that strength to continue to deal with what is being said, as there is a possibility that the label might not go away quickly.
Sometimes, the only way to regain one's reputation is by relocating and starting over again. I know this might not be possible; therefore, the next best thing would be to let others know you have changed, by your actions, and hopefully they will give you a chance.
Rev.
He gives little
attention
Dear Rev:
I would like to get married. I have been seeing someone for over three years, but he does not pay much attention to me. I am always feeling lonely and could not understand. I always want to make plans to build our relationship he is never interested. He wants to make plans with his family, including buying a home. I started seeing someone else and he started to show me attention. He has never asked me to marry him; he is a deportee and the long distance relationship is getting very expensive, what should I do?
Dear Friend:
I am not fully understanding the gravity of your situation. When you say this second guy was deported, is it that you are in the U.S. and he is now in Jamaica?
I know you want to get married, but it makes no sense to get married, only to be unhappy and maybe filing for a divorce shortly after. You need to ensure that before there is a marriage, there is love, trust, understanding and mutual agreement on key issues.
Never be with a guy who does not show you the respect you need and attention you crave. What is the situation with the deported guy anyway? I would think that if he was deported from the country you are now in, it is highly unlikely that he will be returning legally anytime soon.
If it is not possible for you to be together any time soon, because of the prevailing realities, I am not sure it is a good idea to continue this relationship.
Maybe sitting and talking with a counsellor, just a one-off visit to help you answer certain questions, may not be a bad idea.
Rev
Rev. Stephen-Claude Hyatt is a clinical psychologist. Email: tellmeaboutit2005@hotmail.com or editor@gleanerjm.com
