- RUDOLPH BROWN/CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER
Rev. Ben and Cecilia Puente.Claude Mills, Staff Reporter
"BY THE authority vested in me by the ..." If Reverend Ben Puente's vision for Jamaica is realised, Jamaica will experience its first mass wedding as soon as 2006.
"We had a vision of a mass wedding at the National Stadium, dozens of couples renewing their vows, couples in common-law marriages now saying their vows, and making a commitment to God," Rev. Ben Puente of Family Focus International, said.
"We need to reach all these people. Often, it's the women who get saved, and are forced to live with these men, but their lifestyle has to change, and many times, these men claim they can't afford to get married so this would be a way out for many people."
Puente came to Jamaica in 1997 with his wife, Cecilia, selling their house and their business in the United States to become full-time missionaries. They came to Jamaica, believing in a vision they had received that they should come to improve the foundations of the family unit, and establish a ministry and a home "on a hill above a city". They did not know which city, and they travelled all over the country seeking the location that fit the vision. The search lasted seven years until they discovered 'the exact spot' in Golden Spring, St. Andrew.
"It was hard to sell our home and live in a small room paying rent, but eventually, the Lord provided, and when we relocated for the seventh time in the seventh year, we knew that this was the place, we had faith that this would happen," Cecilia Puente, who said that they plan to establish a "centre for restoration of leadership in the church", said.
But rock-solid strong faith or not, the proposal seems to have ruffled the cowls of Catholic priests. Monsignor Richard Albert was almost scathing in his criticism of the idea of a mass wedding.
SACRED
"The place for marriage is the church, you cannot get married in bikinis at Hedo II; marriage should take place in a church, before a priest, and two witnesses. That's the rules," he said.
"The sacrament of marriage is sacred. Many others don't see it as that, a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I understand that people are trying to find meaning in their life, and that's fine, but not at the expense of what traditional teaching says about the covenant of marriage. We (Catholics) would not participate in such an event," Monsignor Albert said.
However, Bishop Herro Blair of Deliverance Evangelistic Centre does not have a problem with a mass wedding ceremony marrying heterosexual couples.
"As long as they get the appropriate counselling, and if it is allowed by law, I have no problem with it," Rev. Blair said.
There are some schools of thought within the spiritual fraternity that traditional ideas about marriage are considered - to put it charitably - dated. In recent years, there appears to be an ongoing expansion and redefinition of the term, marriage. Marriage has changed even more dramatically from biblical times where a man could have 700 wives and 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3), or where any woman who was not a virgin on her wedding day could be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 22:13-21) and Jews could not marry Gentiles (Ezra 9:12). Today, the change is even more dynamic, and people get married in a stunning variety of ways: underwater, nude, or even falling out of airplanes. Nothing is considered outré' in today's 'anything-goes' world.
Rev. Puente's work may be more relevant than ever. The couple, through their organisation Family Focus International, has been counselling couples through a variety of courses, an eight-week premarital course, 'One for Life', a 14-week course dubbed 'Married For Life' and a nine-week course, 'Parents for Life' course.
"The church has been doing a good job of covering up what is happening in our homes - all the problems in society first begin in the home," Rev. Puente said. "Most people think marriage is a contract, I will do something for you if you do something for me, but marriage is a covenant: intelligent people have to invite God into their marriages, God has to be in it, and you have to work at it."
The couple do counselling sessions at the Family Church on the Rock in St. Andrew.
Some experts believe that the institution of marriage is under threat. The numbers do not lie. For the first time, single adults outnumber couples with children as the most common type of household in the United States, according to the Census Bureau analysis, released on August 16th, 2005. In 1990, couples with children were the most prevalent family type, followed by singles, childless couples and single parents. In Jamaica, some 80 per cent of all our children are born outside of wedlock.
UNDER THREAT
"The young women who are 19 to 25, are no longer interested in marriage, they are interested in their degrees, cars, and working towards their Ph.Ds. People are no longer excited about marriage, they want to get an economic base, women are not prepared to be slaves or be pushed around. "The culture has changed, the times have changed," Rev. Canon Ernle Gordon of St. Mary the Virgin Anglican Church, said.
According to the Statistical Institute of Jamaica, there has been a decline in the number of marriages in the last five years. In the year 2000, there were 27,028 marriages, but this number fell to 22,476 in 2003, a decline of almost 20 per cent. During that same period, divorces increased from 1,106 to 1,600, almost 45 per cent.
"Last year, I did five marriages, I used to do 20 (per year). This mass wedding thing is not new, it has been tried in North Korea, it will not solve the problem. Marriage is a covenant, a wedding is a ceremony. Are they just after a ceremony or a covenant with God? They have to do their homework," Rev. Gordon said.
Still, there is the huge financial strain of a typical marriage with its wedding parties, costly decorations, and the cost of hiring a pastor. The average wedding costs anywhere between $50-$125,000 depending on individual tastes so it is likely that the economic reality of poverty, and the risk of overspending on a traditional wedding could make the mass wedding a popular alternative here. Rev. Gordon is not convinced.
"Rich people have the smallest weddings, it's poor people who go all out, and even at funerals, when you try to make it small, them vex, it must be bling bling. I don't buy the argument, what is the purpose?"
President Leroy Turner, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints made a stark declaration that the sanctity of marriage must be protected at all costs.
"Marriage is a special thing, we would not want to participate in a ceremony in a stadium. We are not into a public spectacle, marriage is a private, sensitive thing. There is a great deal of evidence that there are attempts to stretch the definition of marriage but it is a sacred, special thing, and the bonds and institution of marriage should be observed," he said.
