Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor ME DEAR mam, de other day me deh a foreign an get letter from dis foreign young lady how, she hear seh me come fram Jamaica. An please if me can answer some question fe dis project. Suh me write back an tell har awright. Sen de question dem come. Well, question come an me read de fuss one.
"Do you have any special kind of food that you eat in Jamaica?" Suh me answer dat quick. "Curried chicken. Jerk chicken. Oxtail. Ackee and salt fish. Escoveitched fish." (Well, one mine did tell me fe write CUBITCH FISH like weh me did see mek big sign ova two helleva fry dumpling a kip guard like military side a one lilly snapper inna one yardie restaurant a foreign, but me neva badda).
Question number two: "Do Jamaicans have a special time to bathe? For example, Tuesdays at mid-day or maybe once per week?" Suh me spin roun to meself same time. Pon dis piece a libaty weh dis foreign ooman come buss right inna me face. When fram me bawn till now me neva even bless yeye pon har.
Well, widout meking har nuh wiser seh we hab a set a smady a yard weh nuh really bathe fe purpose. Me put pen to paper an tell har straight an plain seh dat deh question nuh call fa. An since a neva fe har binnis seh we hab a next set weh love talk bout dem naw bathe cause dem fraid dem tek up draff. Or a set weh not even wash face. Much less bathe. Or a next set weh when smady cyaan bear it nuh more an ask dem when lass dem bathe. Dem tun roun ask de smady tiddeh a wah date. Or a next set weh bathe an put on a piece a clothes. An nuh bathe again till it tear offa dem. Me kindly tell har seh we a one a de cleanest set a people. A lie ma? Yu tink me a go mek nuh baddy weh only drink water mek anybaddy go believe to seh mean you an dem a de said ting?
Suh me dear lady, me dis kindly enlighten dis foreign ooman de real kine a way bout we etiquette. But missis, de real ting of de ooman question to me is dat really an truly nuff foreign people nuh know a ting bout other people country. Cause when dem ready, dem ask dung to people weh come from Africa a which bus dem tek reach a Merica.
Dis like how me did tell yu bout dis foreign man weh, years ago, did ask me if, since me come from Jamaica, if me smoke ganja. But one mine did dis tell me fe stamp me right foot a dutty like smady about fe jump poco.
An holler "Jah!" Mek him gillup from front a me. But all me do was tell him no. But dat me hear how a heap ait plant said place weh him come fram a foreign. Suh missis, since dem is a set a people weh believe inna freedom of expression, ebry ting weh come a dem mout, dem ask it. But a express fe express. Cause if a yard she did deh an express dat deh question inna any pack bus to any missa man who fa head under smady arm pit (weh nuh bathe since Boxing Day) Cause him a bruck him neck fe glimpse through windah hendah driva fram pass him stop. She woulda hab nuff account fe gi as to why she not only look like she pass fe har stop, but well fly pass har ness. Suh missis, me an dem. Cause which part me come fram, freedom of expression is nutten more dan a dictionary wud fe so-so libaty.
Tek Care!
Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is Director of Graduate Studies at Norfolk State University in Virginia.
