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At left, Tony Rebel and Lady GTyrone Reid, Staff Reporter
Being a parent is a full time job, likewise being an entertainer. The question is can they co-exist? If so, where is the line of equilibrium drawn, that is, a position in which one can be committed to their profession and in that same breath be committed to parenting?
Being in a regular nine-to-five job sometimes robs parents of quality time with their children, so there is no doubt that a job which requires a little bit more than the normal eight hours a day will cut even more into the time allotted for bonding with one's children.
Frequent flyer mileage is something that comes with the territory, especially if that artiste is in great demand - an could be abroad on tours and doing shows for a large part of each year.
The Sunday Gleaner placed some of our local stars in the hot seat, asking whether or not being an entertainer sabotages their efforts at being a good parent - and the larger majority pleaded no with explanation.
"No it don't affect me. If I'm not there, we still communicate through the many technological advances such as the telephone and the youths them understand that it's not about quantity of time but the quality of time that we spend together," Tony Rebel said.
"Not being there in the flesh is one, but I am always there in the spirit and my voice and everything else is there," said Tony Rebel, who said that his first child, who currently is in the sixth form at Wolmer's High School for Girls, was born in the palm of his hands.
Mr. Rebel's viewpoint was shared by mother of three, two girls and a boy, Janice 'Lady G' Fyffe, but along a different line of reasoning. "It nuh really affect me, because if you notice my career sometimes I'm in the limelight and sometimes I'm not and I don't feel anyway about that, because I take the time out to take care of my kids," she said.
She continued: "I will sacrifice the time off to be with my kids; I rather to take the time off. You see, sometime in the musicbiz you have a high tide, another time low tide, so I use the points to take care of my kids."
Inversely, and in the minority, Ewart 'Cobra' Brown said that being an entertainer does have an adverse effect on his role as a parent.
"I would say that it affects my role as a parent, because me woulda have more time if mi did have another occupation. If I had a regular nine-to-five it might been different in terms of the time I spend with them.... but I guess when they are older they will understand," expressed Cobra, with a tad of uncertainty and regret in his tone.
Like everyone, Cobra says he has missed out on a few special occasions due to work overseas. "I miss a lot of things and in a sense I regret it, because I would have love to have been there, but yuh done know seh you affi mek the sacrifice," he said.
"Me a mek all sacrifice weh mi can mek fi dem yah now, cause nuff ting weh dem have as youth me neva have, so is just a price weh yuh pay... in life there is always a price to pay," stressed Cobra.
Tony, the 'rebel with a cause', told The Sunday Gleaner he tries to combat missing such things as birthdays by accentuating what's most important.
"Well, me mek sure they know what's important, that I love and care for them, so if I miss one birthday a di least that," pointed out Mr. Rebel, who added that his witnessing of childbirth reinforced that women should be respected, honoured and revered.
It is said that a parent should protect their children from all ills. This point is strongly advocated by mother by choice, Marion 'Lady Saw' Hall. Although she has never given biological birth, Saw, is emotionally attached to her flock of five. "They don't really know what exactly I do when I am out there, they just know I'm an entertainer. They never see me perform. I try to keep certain things away from them, like my songs," explained Ms. Hall, who says she is even cautious with the songs that she writes around the house by not including the curse words in her songbook. She also tries not to leave it lying around.
Addressing the issue of giving birth to a child of her own, the provocative Hall told The Sunday Gleaner that plans are on the horizon or rather, in the pipelines. "I am planning to have a child anytime now, maybe at the end of the year after the album is released and we tour the road for a while, then I will start working on having a child," said Saw, obviously pregnant with expectation, as she added that she will not go for one but will look to hit the jackpot at least three or four times.
If you are a good parent you are a good parent, there are no two ways to that, but good parents come in different shapes and forms. Every individual has his or her own way of approaching parenthood.
Tony Rebel shared his modus operandus of becoming an exemplary parent. According to the longstanding cultural activist, parents should always remember that their children are a part of them.
"The formula is to know that your children are an extension of you, so anything you would not want for yourself you should not want it for them either. So you must make sure that you do all that you can for them," stressed Mr. Rebel.
Social intimacy is the core of Lady G's blueprint of being an upright parent. According to her, constant emphasis and reinforcement of unconditional love towards the little ones is a must. "You need to be friends with your children, reason with them and play with them as well and let them know that you love them no matter what," she said.
Attention, attention and lots of it is Cobra prescription for being an ideal parent. "Attention; give a lot of it. You have to keep in touch with every aspect of their lives, academic, recreation and everything else," he said.
Saw's remedy is mutual love and respect, which in return will beget the same. "Showing kids love and respect is very important. Give them a lot of attention and make sure that they have good food to grow healthy, but love and respect is the most important thing, because they will in return show love and respect to others," she said.
Good parents more often than not raise good children and that will benefit the wider society. Everyone who has a child has the responsibility to be a good parent; if that approach is taken, then we might be looking at one baby step in the right direction.
As the good book says in Proverbs 22, verse 6: Train up a child in the way he should go/And when he is old, he will not depart from it".
