Melville CookeI RECENTLY had occasion to ask someone for a recommendation, something I thought had finished with after I applied to The Gleaner seven years ago. Since it had to do with UWI it was not, shall we say, the most stunning of recommendations.
Put it this way; when someone who lectured a class of less than 15 does not remember you at all and asks if you had doubled your weight since those days, you know it is not your day.
This business of recommendations is a dicey thing, though. Resumés, too. Based on an application form, a piece of paper which records what you have done with your life and another that records what someone thinks about what you have done, someone has or has not a chance of getting a job. This leads to a lot of fancy penwork, all in the name of gainful em-ployment.
A man had a job, which he was very poor at. To the eternal gratitude of his employers he resigned and they threw the going away party of all going away parties, speeches, hand-pumping and all. The fellow thought that it was his presence which was being appreciated, not realising that it was his absence which was being anticipated.
So he applies for a job at another company and confid-ently names the CEO of the company that was ecstatic to see the back of him as his main reference. The CEO gets the form and, being an honest, conscionable and considerate man, he agonises over it. Should he be forthright and say this man should not be given the job if it required more than quarter of a brain? Should he be extremely kind, assist the goodly gentleman and hope that his work ethic had increased tremendously?
Finally, he hit upon the right words to express his sentiments, remain honest and still give the ex-employee a window of opportunity. Seizing his pen and smiling, the CEO wrote one line: "This is an employee I would not give away to anyone."
While that gentleman had to resolve his dilemma, the guy who was applying for a job at a top company had no such qualms. Outlining his responsibilities at his last job, he wrote:
"Maintaining staff morale by providing vital inputs to the productive process; ensuring that key executives had the necessary resources to negotiate sensitive contracts; facilitating organisational efficiency in high-pressure situations."
