By Rosemary Parkinson, Contributor
Little Janielle doesn't appear thrilled by her slice of pizza. - Rosemary Parkinson
ANYBODY SAW the movie about the pizza man who did a little more than just deliver pizza? What about Mystic Pizza with Julia Roberts? Did you know the real Mystic Pizza A slice of Heaven -- exists in Mystic, Connecticut, US, where the movie was filmed?
Then there was one other film where the Pizzaaioli (maker of Pizza) just loved women as much as pizza. I believe his wife shot him over it -- or some such cruel thing. The stories are endless. Pizza in the morning. Pizza at lunch. Pizza in the evening time. What can I tell you, it's the subject of all kinds of debates. It's the name of a popular DJ Crew in Australia, a Pizza Party Board Game for children, a sick comedy and tons of web sites are devoted to pizza. There's even pizza porn on the web -- whatever that is -- I don't love pizza that much to investigate -- I can assure you.
It is alleged that this crusty meal has been around for centuries -- since the day of the Babylonians. Ancient Greeks picked up on it, called it 'plankuntos' (hmmm--interesting) and Italian peasants took it from there. With the advent of the 'poisonous' tomato being deemed edible by the Spaniards (I wonder who was forced to try it) and transported to Europe, followed by Mozarella cheese (made from the milk of water buffalos in the 7th century by the Indians), the world's first true Pizzeria "Antica Pizzeria Port'Alba may have opened in 1830. It's till in business today --- in Naples, Italy).
In 1889 a brave Neapolitan named Rafael Esposito prepared pizza for King Umberto I and Queen Margherita and that was it -- food for the Gods --- the snack of aristocracy. Then came the Italians to this part of the world. Pizza would never be the same. Gennaro Lombardi opened the first Pizzeria in New York city, and all hell let loose. There was no stopping this circular cholesterol enhancer. Spreading faster than butter on hot bread, it has adapted itself to almost every culture in the world, easing its way into the stomach of millions. Its topping tells the story of whatever cuisine it becomes a part of. From babies to one-foot-in-the grave-types (probably the result of too much consumption) pizza is certainly loved.
A SLICE OF KINGSTON
So what about pizza in Kingston? Thought I would do one of my favourite activities order in and compare. I chose Pizza Hut, Pizza Delight and Domino's --all on Hope Road, within minutes ride of my humble abode. Ordered from a different company each night and had a friend do the taste-test with me. (You know the one --none other than Mr. Italian Stallion -- the man himself -- that divine one in the bottle. Or is it with a bottle? Who cares. I just go for that Amarone every time). Medium size was to be the order all round with the same toppings -- extra cheese, extra sauce, pineapple, mushroom, ham and onion. And so the games began.
PIZZA HUT
Its delivery time went from 45 minutes to 65. At 48 we complained and were informed they were on their way. Half an hour (for a four minute ride) later, our pizza arrived not piping hot. There were packages with dried red chilly pepper and loads of napkins.
I found there was much too much doughy crust--had to leave the outer rim out. Nice thick juicy cheesy topping. Very visible extra mush, pine etc. etc. There was a slight taste of not home-made but all in all cannot complain--it was enjoyable with no indigestion.
Cost: $540 approx.
DOMINO'S PIZZA
I suggest you all go back to the drawing board. Call America. Call in some experts. Do something. The dough was thin in the middle and got progressively thicker on the outside rim. So thick I had to resort to looking like Daffy Duck to get some of it tasted. The ingredients played tricks with my eyes. I am sure I could only count about two pieces of mushrooms and maybe one piece of pineapple on each slice. And where were the onions? The extra sauce? I needed a magnifying glass to see the red for tomato. The extra cheese was not extra. It was hard, cold plastic -- don't you know that when you part the slices, the cheese must pull in strings and then wrap themselves all around your arms? Hey, that's all part of the joy of eating pizza. We must be half way covered in gooey cheese at all times. Get real here.
The crust smelled as though it came straight out of a quick-mix box. There were a lot of napkins -- maybe I should have tried them for dessert to take the taste of cardboard away. And let me tell you: Indigestion. Indigestion. Indigestion.
Hello! You owe me for total discomfort.
Delivery time: About 20 minutes
Cost: $740
PIZZA DELITE
Box design plain and drab. Hey, come on, brighten that up. It's a great name and love the slice of heart in the corner. Love at first bite is corny but allowed. (Sounds like something Dracula would say.) Just the right sized dough on this pizza. Having adjusted my mouth and stomach from the Domino Effect, I was able to eat all my crust with no trouble at all -- every incredibly edible, melt-in-your mouth, crunchy piece of it.
Lots of thick 'pully', chewy cheese. I was covered from head to toe (oops, I'm telling too much) nice and ooooh sooo hot. There were millions of little sexy mushrooms, chunks of exotic pineapple, visible onions and tomato. Although you did not have ham, the bacon was
deeelushious. Sweet delivery guy too. Complimented our new house colours
and all.
Delivery time: 15 minutes
Cost: Wow, but pricey, pricey, pricey. Coming in as the most EXPENSIVE Pizza but the most scrumptious too. Congratulations Pizza Delight. J$840
Where are the napkins by the way?
Thank goodness I am not keen on pizza.
You guessed it -- Rosemary was last seen pillion riding hands firmly entrenched in the body of a pizza man. The rest is fortunately left to the imagination.
