Of what are marriages made? By Heather Little-White, Ph.D., Contributor JUNE traditionally is the month for weddings and while couples may be anxious to "tie the knot", they should understand what makes up marriages and what keeps
the flames of marriages burning. We are instructed by the Bible through the unique sensual passages in Song of Solomon which expounds on what marriages should be. Christian writers, David and Carole Hocking, writing in Romantic Lovers, believe that sensuality is an essential component in marriage but often times its discussion in some religious circles is prohibited. The Hockings feel that while we may blush with the frankness of Biblical sensuality, it can help to strengthen marriages and meet unfulfilled desires. Magical moment If you want to know what God approves of in marriage, lessons from the Song of Solomon will help your understanding. Marriages are magical moments when the bride arrives on the arm of her give-away father and the organists strikes up the wedding march and the procession proceeds down the aisle, it is time for celebration, and the groom's heart races as he sees his beautiful bride. Mother's approval Solomon's wedding celebration saw "King Solomon with the crown with which his mother crowned him of the day of the wedding". Passing the crown to Solomon was a symbolic gesture to demonstrate approval and blessing on a day that brought gladness to the hearts of everyone. Solomon later wrote of his ecstatic feeling of being married to Abishag. Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all the days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labour which you perform under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Solomon also wrote in Proverbs 12:4 "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband". The Hockings advocate that many marriages would be different if husbands realised Solomon's principles and applied them to prove that a wife is a great blessing and marriages should bring happiness. The bride's home Where should the wedding take place? The tradition is for the wedding to take place at the bride's home with a procession that ends at the couple's residence. This explains why the tradition of the wedding expenses rest with the bride's family. Perfume Perfumed with myrrh and frankincense with all the merchant's fragrant powders. Solomon showered his bride with exotic fragrances as an indication of his intense love for her. He provided his wife, Abishag, with all the perfumes that any woman could hope to have and made sure it was marvellously presented on her special day. Potential bridegrooms can learn from Solomon who prepared to adorn his bride for their wedding procession, providing a caravan of people and supplies. Attendants The number of attendants at a wedding demonstrates the sense of loving protection that a man has for his wife. King Solomon had 60 attendants as he did not want any harm to come to his wife, another demonstration of his love for his wife. Bride and the bridegroom There is often a question as to why the focus is placed mainly on the bride but the bridegroom is equally important, with a deeper spiritual meaning. The Bible instructs that the bridegroom the Lord Jesus Christ is the great attraction in a spiritual marriage. Believers, representing the bride, are married by faith. Solomon, as the bridegroom, was resplendent on his throne. Elaborate with pillars of silver and its support of gold, its seat of purple, it had an interior paved with "love by the daughters of Jerusalem", represented as love carvings on wood. The throne used the finest wood in the world the wood of Lebanon. Lovemaking scenes, carved into the wood, emphasises the role of the husband in a love relationship. Evaluation Persons who have been married for a long time should evaluate the marriage to see what direction the marriage is taking. Questions for evaluation should be Is there still that original joy? Is there still excitement about making love together? Do thoughts of your partner bring about thankfulness and rejoicing in God's institution of marriage? The Hockings suggest that the evaluation process can be helped by reading Song of Solomon 4, a love poem that gives intimate details about how a husband and wife should respond to each other if they are to live joyfully together. Weddings are wonderful, but they are only the beginning of a couple's life together. After the wedding, the marriage begins.
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