Dear Pastor,
I am in my twenties and I have one child. I have had sexual relationships with a couple men and the father of my child and I have been going together for more than four years. I have been very faithful to him, but he does not think that way. He feels that I have another man with him. He is very jealous. And he likes a lot of attention. If I talk to women he wants to know why I have to talk to them.
I do not go to clubs and parties. My man knows that I am always at home. I respect him but I am living in misery. My relatives hardly want to come and see me because of him. He wants me to tell him everything about my past. If I go out and stay for a few hours, when I get back he wants to search me to see if I am wet. If he feels that I am wet he makes a big fuss and accuses me of having sex with another man.
He does not take me anywhere. Sometimes I am tempted to cheat on him because he has accused me so many times of doing it and I am not guilty. I told him to leave me alone. I was living alone before he came into my life and I am paying the rent for the house we are living. He gives me money to buy food, but he does not pay any other bill. He is hardly at home. He spends a lot of time on the telephone, but he does not pay the bill.
I do all the house work such as washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing etc. He does nothing. Whenever he wants sex I must always be ready.
If I say I am tired, he says it is because I have a man having sex with and that is why I am making excuses. Whenever he is having sex with me he is very rough.
He is trying to get me pregnant again, but he will not succeed. I don't want to get pregnant. And I told him that we should go for counselling, but he said he is not interested.
Please tell me what to do. I am frustrated and miserable. S., St. Mary
Dear S.,
If you continue living with this man you will never experience true happiness. He wants you to be his slave. Frankly, he is treating you like a little child. If he doesn't trust you, he should not be living with you. You should not just tell him to go, you should pack his things and put him out. And if he retaliates or threatens you, you should report him to the police.
It must be humiliating for a man to search a woman's person to ascertain whether she has had sex with another man. Men who do such things bring shame on other men because they give women the impression that all men don't trust women. it is demeaning. Why should a man stoop so low? Shame on your man.
You should not tell a man all about your past. What is past should be put behind you. An intelligent man ought not to dig into a woman's past.
What good would it do if you were to tell him how many men you have been with? How would that help the relationship you are having with him? Foolish men question women about these things.
He didn't take you as a virgin. What about his past? I doubt very much that he would tell you the full truth.
You need to seriously consider getting rid of him. If he refuses to go for counselling, don't waste time with him.
Pastor
Praising his woman
Dear Pastor,
What I want to do is to give thanks to my one and only girlfriend who is living in Clarks Town, Trelawny. She is a good woman to have. I want to say publicly how I feel about her. Men don't generally tell their women that they are in love with them publicly. That is what is causing the problem today. Women should be given credit when they have done something good.
I have been with this lady for the past two years. I got myself into trouble and I am in prison. But she has not turned her back on me. She makes sure I am not short of anything. She writes to me every two weeks. I wouldn't turn my back on a woman like that. It does not matter what bad things she might have done in her life, I would have to forgive her because she is not perfect. Whatever mistakes she made, I will have to allow her to correct them. I am not worrying myself about her looking another man. What I am concerned about is that she will live long and I am sure to give her back all the good she did for me and have a wonderful wedding.
Pray for her and for me that we will live to see the day when I am free from prison.
R.J., Rehabilitation Centre
Dear R.J.,
I am sure your lady friend is happy to know that you think highly of her and that you are grateful for all she is doing for you while you serve time in prison. I hope that you would be a changed man before you return to society, so to speak, and that you would never again do anything that would cause you to return to prison. My prayers are with you.
Pastor
Calling Hugh and Megan Silvera
Dear Pastor,
I am trying to locate my children I left in Jamaica. My name is Winston Silvera. I served as a constable in the Jamaica Constable Force for about 10 years.
In 1983 I immigrated to the United States of America. Now that I am settled I would like to be reunited with them.
The name of my first child is Hugh Silvera and his mother's name is Lucille Whyte.
Her last known address was Langston Road off Mountain View Avenue.
The other is Megan Silvera and her mother's name is Marie Leslie. Their last known address was off Bay Farm Road in the Waltham Gardens area.
I hope you can help me to locate my children. Keep up the great job you are doing to help people. God bless you.
Winston Silvera, Michigan, USA
Dear Winston,
I am sure that the mothers of your children are eager to know where you are. I am sure the children needed your help so badly.
Why has it taken you so long to try to find them? I hope your children have done well. Thank God the Good Lord has put it in your heart to try to find them.
I will inform you whenever I hear of their whereabouts.
Pastor
Will Marcia Elliott's husband speak up
Dear Pastor,
I have been married for the past eight years and I would like to help my husband to come to the United States of America. He is living in Jamaica. I care about him.
I am trying to locate him but I do not know his whereabouts. I would like him to contact me as early as possible.
I called his home in Jamaica but I am unable to find him. I do not know where he is. I want my marriage to work. I do not know if he wants that. I also want him to support me. I am a very hard-working woman.
Marcia Elliott, Bronx, New York
Dear Marcia,
You have not mentioned your husband's name; therefore, I am forced to mention your name.
I hope your husband or someone who knows his whereabouts will see your letter and contact me. I wish you well.
Pastor
