Deidre Forbes, Freelance Writer

Fushia Walters with her grandmother Ethlyn Drake.

"Grandmothers are survivors and usually prayer warriors. Through grandmothers, grandchildren come to understand the finite nature and cycle of life," says Hermione McKenzie.

Call them what you will, Grandma, Granny, Gramps, Nana, Nan, Nanny, even Mom, grandmothers around the world play a special role in the lives of their families. In African/Caribbean societies, they are usually primary caregivers, holding together the families of their working or wayward children.

"In the Caribbean, the extreme emphasis on the slave mother may have been a factor in determining the important role of grandmothers," explains Hermione McKenzie, retired senior lecturer at the University of the West Indies (UWI).

"Regardless of paternity, the status of the slave mother determined the status of her child. Out of this circumstance, there seems to have arisen a strong emphasis on 'matrifocality', based on the female lineage, including grandmother and aunts."

McKenzie, who chairs the Jamaican Women's Political Caucus and is the president of the Association of Women's Organizations in Jamaica (AWOJA), says there are several social scenarios that can result in children spending some or all of their childhood years with a grandmother. Tragedy is one of the worst case scenarios, as attorney-at-law Carol Pantry knows.

"My mother was struck by lightning in 1958 and died leaving four of us. I was seven at the time and I guess my grandmother was the logical person to raise us because she already had an established and structured household where my cousin, my two aunts and my grandaunt also lived."

Happy memories

Pantry, who is married to Kent Pantry, QC, former Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) and currently Dean of the Faculty of Law at the University of Technology, has happy memories of growing up with her grandmother, Eva Clarke, or Miss Eva, as she was known in Strawberry, Westmoreland.

"To the best of her ability, she ensured we had a decent life. Financially she was supported by my father and my uncle (her son), but she was extremely resourceful. I thought we were very fortunate. We had to do our chores but it was a relatively privileged upbringing in that we were not exposed to hard work by the standards then.

"She had a Christian home. We went to church every Sunday and sometimes during the week, and we also went to church conventions. She was very strong on education and discipline, but she was not overly strict. In fact, she was surprisingly approachable for her generation. I never had any problems talking to her about anything."

Popular and respected

Twice-married, Miss Eva, who had not one but two of her five children die before her, was a popular and respected figure in the community.

"She was, in essence, the village mother," recalls Pantry. "Everyone sought her advice. She welcomed everyone into her home and always cooked extra so that whoever came could participate. She kept abreast of the news and was very forward-thinking for her era. Her wish for us was to leave that environment and go out and make something of ourselves. She never sought to hold us back. She would always say, 'don't worry about me.'"

Miss Eva died in 1986, with the satisfaction of knowing that her grandchildren had "passed the worse" and grown into successful individuals. Pantry, who has two adult daughters, says when the time comes for her to be a grandmother she will be a "tolerant and loving one".

Historically, migration has played a major role in shaping Jamaican families as mothers and fathers leave their children behind to create a better way of life. "Both rural to urban migration and overseas migration commonly result in children living with grandma while the parents try to make a living elsewhere," says McKenzie. Such is the story of 32-year-old Fushia Walters who was brought up by her grandmother, Ethlyn Drake, a shopkeeper who was in her 50s.

"My mother left Clarendon for Kingston to seek better opportunities and left three of us with our grandmother," she explains. "Our grandmother raised us from basic school through to high school. She did everything for us. She is the only mother I know. I owe everything to her."

Walters is convinced that being raised by her grandmother was the best thing that could've happened to her. "My grandmother taught me good morals and good values. She always told me to be independent and trustworthy. She told me there was never any need to lie," says Walters who works in sales and marketing for Edgechem.

"All of us turned out very well. My brother and sister are in England where my sister is a nurse and my brother specialises in partitions. They make sure they come for visits but I would never leave her."

Although Walters now lives in Kingston, she loves paying surprise visits to her grandmother who is blind but is as alert as ever and keeps on top of the operation of her shop, although not running it herself. "She was and still is a very powerful black woman, charming and sophisticated," enthuses Walters.

"The Jamaican child-shifting phenomenon has been much studied," says McKenzie. "If a parent is going through financial or other difficulties, or has too many children, other relatives, including the grandmother, may be relied upon to bring up some of the children."

Grandma Mabel

Mabel Smith, known to all in the small community of Charlestown, Portland, as Grandma Mabel, has no children of her own. Still, she raised all five of her sister's children (three boys and two girls) from the ages of seven until they were teenagers.

"I don't know why I never had any children," she ponders, "but the Lord knows best.

"Times were hard for my sister but I was higglering and so I used to buy lunch and books and clothes for all of them," explains Grandma Mabel who lost her second husband four years ago.

She says that although the children slept at their mother's house, they would come to her for breakfast before school and for dinner after school. "The eldest is 55 now and I raised one of my nephew's sons too, from he was 11 to 24. They're all in America now and I'm proud of all of them. They treat me good. Every now and again they give me a trip - because I have a 10-year visa. I went there last year and came back in March. I was there for six months. Two of them are supporting me now, because I'm 84."

Grandmothers provide experience, knowledge and sometimes financial help for their families. However, their importance goes beyond these roles. They give "families dimension and depth," says McKenzie. "Grandmothers are survivors and usually prayer warriors. Through grandmothers, grandchildren come to understand the finite nature and cycle of life and they are instrumental in promoting family knowledge, family history and family loyalty."

McKenzie who has three grandsons says, "I see my role as deepening and widening my grandchildren's understanding of family and kinship and of their family background. I also try to give them a sense of emotional security, family security, backing up their parents."

Reflecting on her own childhood, she continues: "I grew up with my parents on family land and my (widowed) maternal grandmother and one of my aunts also lived on the same property. A great-uncle and great-aunt also had their home on the land. I was not raised by my grandmother, but I certainly was supervised by her, and I was instructed by her in good behaviour, manners and deportment.

Breakfast

I often was sent by my mother to sleep at grandma's house if, for any reason, my aunt was away and grandma was at home alone. I slept with grandma in a large four-poster bed which had steps leading up to the bed and a canopy. I loved having breakfast with grandma in the morning. She had a special way with new-laid scrambled eggs.

"Grandma told me many family stories. My paternal grandmother had died before I was born, but Grandma told me many stories about both sides of the family. She also told me about her youthful days, her marriage, and her personal experiences with ghosts and apparitions. Even when I was grown up Grandma and I had many conversations and she continued to tell me family stories. Grandma lived into her 90s and was my lifelong object of affection."