Angela Philipps, Contributor

I was pleasantly surprised to receive the following email from a reader a couple of weeks ago, who is coming to the end of her teen years and entering tertiary education in less than two months.

"I am a young female of 17. I know that I'm beautiful and when young guys tell me that, I accept their comment but I tell myself that I am beautiful already. Let me say that I love your articles in the Outlook magazine of The Sunday Gleaner. I would like some tips or advice on being a young lady. I am really interested in my self development and would seek any help I can, or participate in activities which aid in the self-development of young people, especially females. I am going to college in September and will be going out in the wider society pretty soon. I am kindly awaiting your reply. Thanks."

The big bad world

I remember when I was leaving high school myself. Suddenly, the little community of my classroom, along with me in it, would be dispersed into the big bad world. The idea of moving forward into adulthood was daunting and exciting at the same time. The former, because I realised that I did not know as much as I thought I did a year or so before, and the latter, because I was dying to be a grown-up!

The truth is that no one really prepares us for what's coming our way, and when I was at that stage of life the opportunities for women were greater than those available to my mother in her time. That being said, one should not knock the good old-fashioned values that make up social decorum.

It is wonderful that this girl has the confidence to believe in herself, and admirable that she seeks to pursue the quest of becoming a lady.

Tips for self-development and becoming a lady

1. Get involved with a charity, e.g., offer to help with the fund-raising.

2. Do some volunteer 'work', e.g., offer to help feeding babies in a children's home.

3. Make an effort to meet people in all walks of life - you might learn something from them.

4. Don't lose the friends you've made, but keep an open mind to making some new ones.

5. Join a sports club, or other youth group - music, drama, etc.

6. If you can, go to the theatre occasionally rather than always going to bars and nightclubs.

7. During your summer holidays, get a job for at least a month.

8. Even if you are ambitious, learn to sew and cook - they are useful skills to have.

9. Offer to go food shopping for an elderly person once a week.

10. At least once a week, offer to read the newspaper or a book to a person with poor eyesight.

11. Find a hobby for yourself and spend some 'down' time doing it each week - painting, drawing, yoga, walking, singing, etc.

12. Accept invitations to events where you can meet new people and be social.

13. Go to an art exhibition/gallery at least once a month.

14. If you are wondering whether what you are about to do is wrong/immoral, it probably is - trust your gut feeling.

15. Do not allow someone to persuade you to do something that you're unsure of - more than likely, if you need to be persuaded then it could well be wrong.

16. Read anything and everything you can get your hands on - knowledge is power.

17. Act like a lady at all times - sit with your legs closed/crossed and your back straight, do not talk while you have food in your mouth, eat with the knife in your right hand and fork in your left, swing your two legs together to get in and out of a car.

18. Good manners are always crucial - Do not forget 'please', 'thank you', 'you're welcome', 'bless you' when someone sneezes, 'excuse me' when trying to get someone's attention, 'I'm sorry' when you have done something to hurt or upset someone, or when you're wrong.

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com.