Angela Philipps, Contributor

WHY DO some men find it hard to talk to beautiful women? Is it because they believe that they are not good enough, or is it due to the fact that these ladies think too highly of themselves? I have witnessed situations which support both theories, and either way people are missing out on potential soulmates.

Take my situation, for instance. I am currently dating a guy who I met three times within a year and a half before we were formally introduced. The first two were at Christopher's (those of you who have read my column since the start will know that it's a good place to meet men). Apparently, I blanked him on both occasions. But hold on a minute. I'd like to defend myself here.

On the primary meeting, he was with a few other fellows and I thought that he was unfriendly. As far as I was concerned, he was being rude because he completely ignored me and my friends. The second time was over a year later, and I have no recollection of him saying hello to me. I must have been distracted with something else. Perhaps he should have tried harder? Maybe he assumed that I was stuck up, so didn't bother to pursue me further.

The third time I do remember quite clearly, but I had a lot going on in my life. The last intention I had was to find myself a boyfriend. However, by this point he was quite certain that I thought he was not good enough for me. How wrong he was, though. Alas, I was given a fourth chance and was introduced to him by a friend three months after that. The rest is history.

So, what about the gorgeous gals who do actually believe they are too good for anyone? Male friends of mine have complained to me that they simply cannot find a pretty woman to date. They say that it is not easy to go up to a girl and introduce themselves, because often they'll get the cold shoulder from the female in question. They even try different greetings to see if it'll make a difference, but to their dismay they are metaphorically told to 'speak to the hand'.

What is a guy supposed to do? There are few women who'll take the initiative to chat to a man they don't know, and most expect him to be the one to ask them out. Well, how is this all going to happen if you continue to pay them no mind, ladies? You need to give them a break. Open your hearts and minds to everyone you come across. How'd you like it if all the handsome men treated you so badly? Being good looking is something you're born with, personality and manners are things you practise. The former is the easy option, but you'll get caught out eventually if you don't cultivate the latter. You've been warned!

On the other hand, there are some attractive girls who have, in their past, been very open and friendly, but have also been abused and dragged through the dirt themselves. In these cases, it's no wonder that they are no longer forthcoming with conversation and attention towards strangers. Of course, the nice men who want to talk to them will have no idea, and they will suffer the consequences. In due course, they will think badly of these women.

So, would it help if all of us singletons out there were to place banners on our foreheads, indicating our personal situations? I can just see it now:

'Single, jaded and shy'; 'Single, but not interested in changing that'; 'Single, and willing to meet and talk to anyone'; 'Single, but you need to be a bit pushy with me as I'm oblivious to whether someone is trying to flirt with me or not'; 'Single, but don't even bother greeting me if you're not as stunning as I am'. Etcetera, etcetera. At least it'd show these men which 'hot' women they could approach!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com