Angela Philipps, Contributor

When, if ever, is it okay to date a man who is closer in age to your parents than to you?

I dragged a friend of mine to Verandah's one Sunday evening, much to her dismay. She warned me that she did not likeit there as it really was not a place for young people. When we arrived, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many cars parked outside, and I thought to myself, "With this amount of people, there is bound to be some young people here." Well, who told me to think anything! It was like walking into a retirement home full of drunkards! And every other guy over the age of 60 had some young 'ting' draping from his arm.

When I was 18, in my last year of high school, I went to a wedding with my parents. We met a very pleasant couple (let's call them Mr. & Mrs. T) who were a lot of fun, and all of us danced the entire night together. Not long after that Mr. T paid me a visit while I was alone. Before I go on, let me just preface this with the fact that he was in his mid-40s! Anyway, he had just discovered that his wife had been cheating on him with their next door neighbour, and she had decided to leave him. Well, I was curious to know why on earth he was revealing his troubles to me. I mean I'd met the man once! He must have read my mind because he then said to me, "You must be wondering why I am telling you all of this." Uhhh ... no kidding mate, it had crossed my mind!

Spanish music

And so Mr. T went on to say that he had been driving in his car the previous day and heard some Spanish music. It had reminded him of me and the red dress I had worn at the wedding, and that he realised that he loved me! Can you believe this?

Well, as you can imagine, I was shocked. Here was this big man, nearly 30 years my senior and he'd decided overnight that he was deeply in love with me! I honestly did not know what to say or do, so I launched into one long monologue about how I understood that he must be hurting and that I was just a fantasy and his feelings couldn't possibly be real.

Eventually, I made some excuse about homework (yes, homework my big fella, you know the kind of thing a teenager does while you raise your kids, write a will and take out life insurance!). That was weird I thought, as he drove off.

I toldmy parents immediately and they were very concerned. I thought that I wouldn't hear from him again, so I was not worried in the slightest. I was wrong, two days later I received a letter from him with a tiny heart ruby inside. He rambled on about these dreams he'd been having regarding me, and wrote how happy he and I would be together. Okay, did this man not register that when he came to see me I'd been in my school uniform?! I was beginning to get freaked out and my mum and dad wanted to throttle him. It didn't stop there, the next day I got yet another letter, but this time he had sent photos of his little daughters with it. Was he thinking that I'd want to take on the 'step-mummy' role? This guy was sick - really.

The limit had been reached. My folks managed to contact him and threatened to fax a note to his office describing the past week's events if he did not cease from getting in touch with me. Hear him now, "Okay I'll leave her alone until after end-of-year exams." If my mother could have grabbed his throat through the phone line, I believe she would have. "No, I don't think you understand," she said, "you are and will always be too old for our daughter."

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com