Wendel Abel THE TELEPHONE rang. I asked the doctor to read the report. He hesitated. My heart was pounding. I broke out in sweat. Panic gripped me.
The doctor said, "The cancer had spread." The doctor had just given me the report about my father's diagnosis. There and then I understood how frightening it was to be told that you or a loved one had been diagnosed with cancer.
I saw my father wither away. I was helpless. At times angry. He died four years ago, but I still grieve his death.
That experience has allowed me to understand the emotional reactions of persons who are diagnosed with life-threatening conditions such as breast cancer.
WHY ME?
The initial emotional response on being told may range from shock to anger to disbelief. We sometimes are left to question why this happened to us or our loved ones. Sometimes we may even question our faith and the very God we serve. One's emotional reaction may also include denial as we struggle to accept the painful reality. No one likes to be informed of illness, especially if the illness is life-threatening, such as cancer. Most of us are afraid of confronting death. We may even become depressed and anxious and many persons end up grieving for a long time.
I learned a lot of lessons from my father's death. If you or someone close to you have been diagnosed with cancer or any life-threatening condition, here are five simple steps to follow.
A - Act now: Remember to accept the painful feelings and fears we experience and move quickly to take action. If you are informed of a diagnosis, take actions as quickly as possible. Remember, beyond the pain, the hurt and the fear. there may be danger in delay. So act quickly.
B - Be informed: Today many diseases such as cancer are treatable. There are many treatment options available for cancer, such as chemotherapy, surgery and radiation therapy. Learn also about the exercise techniques, nutrition and general lifestyle changes that you can engage in to lengthen and improve the quality of your life. Keep yourself informed and discuss these options with your healthcare provider. Many persons experience undue suffering and many persons die due of a lack of information.
C - Communicate: Communicate with your friends, family members and your doctor. Hiding your illness does not help anyone.
D - Don't deny: Denial is a powerful and dangerous activity that many persons engage in and this often prevents them from confronting their reality and taking appropriate actions. Sometimes the thought of being told that you have a particular illness, especially one such as breast cancer, leaves you depressed and frozen in a state of denial. Many persons die from many diseases because they enter into denial. Beyond the pain, the fear and anxiety, accept the reality and take actions,
E - Express your feelings: My experience with my father taught me how powerful and real our emotional reactions are. Recognise that we experience these feelings because we are human beings - the fear, the anxiety, the anger, the fear of medi-cation, the fear of chemotherapy, the fear of surgery, the fear of dying. Accept these feelings and express them. A research recently published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology showed that women who express emotions and talk about their fears enjoy less distress and have better health outlook. Talk to friends, family members, church friends or join a support group. The Jamaica Cancer Society has an excellent support group for survivors of breast cancer, Reach To Recovery. Join this group. The group provides informational and emotional support to persons diagnosed with breast cancer.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; phone: 922-3216; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
