Aubyn Hill
THE MATTER of disrespect is a very pervasive (and given its stark consequences - a perverted) and moral issue in Jamaica. People are so fearful of 'dissing' the wrong person, because the result can be instant death by gun, stabbing or some similar brutal method, that they stay quiet when they should justifiably object to unacceptably bad service, behaviour and treatment by others.
VERY LOW PATIENCE THRESHOLD
Everything is fast these days. We have fast cars, motorbikes, bullet trains, jet aircraft, telephone calls and broadband Internet to make sure we lose no time contacting each other. Our anger is raised immediately and we get rather irritated if the Internet happens to be slow or down. Across the world we have become an impatient lot and in Jamaica, as is our wont, we seem to take it to a higher level.
Our threshold for disagreement is extremely low. Today anyone who happens to disagree with us is automatically 'dissing' or disrespecting us. This is plain and blatant nonsense. We have to encourage each other by example (meaning accepting disagreement) to get to the place where people can disagree with us and not be bad persons, or change their minds and not be of low character or be treated as inveterate "dissers". In my late teenage years I remember making a plan out of this statement "If we disagree let us not be disagreeable about it". Those who remember me in my very early twenties when I worked at Times Store might well remember it hanging in my office. Maybe it is one of the things teachers should teach in schools and parents at home and colleagues discuss at the work place. Maybe even DJs can rap about it to spread the message far and wide.
TRAINING AND UNCERTAINTY
People at all levels (senior politicians, top executives, professionals and even pastors) many times find it very hard to focus on the issue of a discussion, or an objective rather than on the personality that is bringing or raising the issue. It would seem that we have to begin all over again to educate people at all levels to understand that when we focus on an objective, or an issue, we tend to work towards a solution rather than concentrating on being dissed by the speaker. Looking at the mood around us, we appear to be a nation of persons who possess an unwillingness or inability to handle any kind of uncertainty or disagreement. Literally, this inability is killing us.
Patience and being able to handle uncertainty are learned characteristics. Many parents - the struggling and poor ones out of sheer inability, and the better-to-do ones out of negligence, selfishness or ineptitude - do not teach their children these attributes anymore. Some of them do not possess these qualities themselves.
Unfortunately, the teaching of fine attitudes and attributes that will act as a psychological antidote to the virulent dissing perception virus is left to our overburdened teachers.
Regrettably, even when teachers try to inculcate good characteristics in our children, the behaviour of parents (often only a parent and his or her lover) at home, plus the severe peer pressure on unsupervised youngsters completely nullify the teachers' efforts.
When I was a child I was taught that "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me". Maybe we should be teaching that phrase all over the country while also teaching and practising manners and courtesy with each other. But above all, people, especially young adults and young men in particular, need not see every disagreement as one in which he or she is being dissed. Even more importantly if we perceive that we are being dissed, there is really no reason to take someone's life over what is generally a simple matter of disagreement. A human life has to be much more valuable than any such disagreement.
Aubyn Hill is managing partner of Corporate Strategies Limited, a restructuring and financial advisory firm. Respond to: writerhill@gmail.com
