By Tanya Batson-Savage, Staff Reporter
A scene from Scary Movie 3.
WARNING: SCARY Movie 3, directed by David Zucker, has some of the dumbest, most predictable jokes that have ever sullied the name of film. Of course, if that's your thing, then this movie should provide you with a laugh every few minutes.
The Wayan Brothers (Shawn and Marlon), who created the characters, are nowhere to be found in part three. The only leftovers from previous spooky spoofs are Anna Farris (Cindy Campbell) and Regina Hall (Brenda Meeks). This time around, Scary Movie dredges its plot from the shells of The Ring, Signs and 8 Mile. (The 8 Mile connection must have been born out of the idea that a white rapper is a very scary thing).
The three plots are then twisted and churned together with a few kicks to the crotch and bangs to the head, all splashed with liberal, unhealthy doses of bodily fluids.
Scary Movie 3 certainly pulled in a lot of star power to prop up the very lame jokes. Rather than trying to dazzle with brilliance it chose to baffle with celebrities. So Queen Latifah, Charlie Sheen, Leslie Neilson and Eddie Griffin play some of the major characters. However, this was not enough. So, Master P, Fat Joe, Macy Grey, Method Man and Red Man also pop in.
Of course, to turn it into a truly scary movie, Jah Rule is given a speaking role. Jah Rule's return to the screen could certainly frighten anyone into thinking that he believes he has a career in film.
DEAD PERFORMANCE
Surprisingly, his performance in Scary Movie 3 is not as bad as his stint in Half Past Dead. Granted, getting worse than the way past dead performance which helped to drive the nail into that movie's coffin would have taken tremendous - even superhuman - effort.
Along with The Ring and Signs, bits of The Others, The Matrix and American Idol are also thrown in. So too are a few jokes targeted at child molesting priests and Michael Jackson.
To be fair the movie had a great trailer, but it probably should have been left at that. Actually, even some of the moments which seemed hilarious in the trailer fall very flat when they play out in the movie.
While one would not expect sophistication or good taste from the Scary Movie franchise, a little attempt at creating comedy would have been greatly appreciated. Scary Movie 3 merely moves from one punch in the head to the next and neither Moe nor Curly is present, so what's the point?
As any fan of Weird Al Yankovich would know, the thing about spoofs is that they generally take the very thing that was great or awful about a movie and turn it into something truly funny. That takes talent. Scary Movie 3 completely lacks the insertion of any writing talent.
Essentially, Scary Movie 3 is as funny as two holes in the head. There is no irreverence here, other than for the intelligence of the audience.
The spoof aspect is simply an excuse to not bother to create a plot of its own.
On the bright side, the movie only lasts 90 minutes.
The truly scary thing is if they announce a Scary Movie 4. Now that's a concept worthy of a scream or two.
