Tamara Hill
TAMARA HILL, the former Miss Sri Lanka who met and married Jamaican and international banker Aubyn Hill 20 years ago in her country of birth, returned home with her family last year.
On September 1, 2002, Aubyn Hill became the new managing director of National Commercial Bank, recruited by Michael Lee-Chin, the bank's chairman.
The wife of the former head of the bank of Oman has tales to tell about the family's travels which would make your toes curl. They were all living in Kuwait at the time of the Iraqi invasion a time of great trauma, Tamara told Outlook. The couple fled overnight, leaving everything behind, moving to Onan where they had to "start all over again".
In Kuwait, the homes of their friends were looted, with documents destroyed. Whatever could not be stolen was mutilated and urinated on. It was a tale of horror.
Today, however, life for Tamara and Aubyn Hill in their villa style residence in Cherry Gardens is a peaceful one. Outlook met Tamara in the sun-warmed lounge of her home, where creamy and off-white interiors are minimally furnished to emphasise a sense of space.
Seated on cream coloured sofa, she was totally relaxed. The swimming pool could be seen behind her through glass patio doors, reflecting the blue of the sky. Birds twittered outside as she spoke: "August 18 was my date of arrival here."
Tamara recalled worrying about the crime in Jamaica back then. "The only fear I had at the time was the crime. There were stories in the news about 10 people being killed in one week. I stopped reading the newspaper."
Tamara, however, is not one to let her life be dictated by fear. "You have to have faith and trust in God. And then go on from there," she said.
Tamara Hill has a great sense of humour and we were treated to several examples of it, efforts facilitated by the ease with which she converses in English. The Tamil woman also speaks French.
"It is very difficult to compare Jamaica and Oman," she said. "Although it is technically third world, Oman is first world in every way. There are excellent roads, schools, a very good health care system. There is no crime, Oman is very safe.
"Jamaica has a far way to go. There are also drugs here. There are no drugs in the Middle East. The 1700 km of coastline in Oman is well policed."
Oman is a monarchy, Tamara said, admitting that there is not much of a democratic system in the state, but that the authorities are nevertheless very liberal.
"In Oman, there were no restrictions on women. I was able to dress as I am today, in public, and wear my swimsuits at the beach."
Although a Muslim country, other religions are also tolerated, with a Hindu temple, a Roman Catholic church and others in the country. All holidays are religious, however, and no work is permitted on Friday which is the start of the Sabbath.
Mrs. Hill noted that in Saudi Arabia, conditions are much more restrictive as, women are not even allowed to drive without the permission of their husbands. "There, a women cannot even check into a hotel without her husband's permission. Women have no rights at all."
In her own country of birth, Sri Lanka, the scope for those who were liberal enough to let their children grow up with more freedoms, is greater. Tamara said that her father was very liberal, telling her from early that she could marry whomever she chose, just so long as he was a "good man".
So, in 1976, she got a bee in her bonnet saying she wanted to enter the Miss Sri Lanka contest, and was allowed to do so by her doting father. She won, going on to Miss World competition from which she was, however, withdrawn by her Government in a protest against South Africa's Apartheid.
Aubyn Hill was then working at the American Express Banking Corporation in Sri Lanka. Tamara met him socially through a friend, whom he later called their "marriage broker". Tamara laughed as she spoke.
"I was my father's only child, the apple of his eye. He got to know Aubyn and said he was a good man. Now we have been 20 years together," Tamara stated.
Brought up by her father as a Christian, she also says, "I think we have lasted this long because we shared similar Christian backgrounds and values. Our wedding was Christian, although it was not held in a church as my father wished. "I said 'no father, this is one thing that I want'," she recalls. It was held in a beautiful garden, as she desired.
The years of marriage have revealed real differences between Tamara and Aubyn, but they have learnt to compromise, says Mrs. Hill. "Aubyn is organised and disciplined, I am not. I can't think how we have done so well.
"I will build castles in the air and he will shoot them down with a fire extinguisher. I say chalk and he says cheese you can depend on it.
"I am more impulsive, he is practical."
Aubyn is also a straight talker who believes in sharing his honest opinion at all times. Tamara admitted to Outlook that she packed her bags about nine times, saying that she was going home. But, they have been together for 20 years and are more in love than ever. "Couples will have their spats," she admits.
The very first spat, she recalled, was when she was just learning to cook and she produced a dinner of chicken. Asking Aubyn how it was, she was told, "it's disgusting." She as very mad, she recalled, and packed her suitcases for the first time, determined to leave.
"It is difficult to keep me down for long. I have a very upbeat and positive attitude," she now comments. The always enterprising Tamara subsequently learnt to cook too, and although her favourite cuisine is French, learnt to prepare Aubyn's Jamaican food, getting recipes on several visits to the island.
She herself has grown to love oxtail, stew peas, and gungo peas soup.
"In Oman, I surprised him by making dukunu - down to the banana skin wrap," she boasted.
She made it in the microwave and it tasted just as good. She also knows how to do mannish water and cow cod soup.
They stuck together and now, Aubyn and Tamara are parents of two children Alexander aged 18 and Alana aged 15. Life has included a lot of travel, for the mother, who early on decided to make herself totally available for her husband and children.
Her life has indeed been dedicated to them, although she has done some modelling and worked in one movie, a Sri Lankan and Indian collaboration called Fire.
"I was a gangster's girlfriend," she smiles. "I had a tragic end, I died."
But, filming she said, only looks glamorous on screen. In real life it is tedious and boring.
Tamara decided early on not to take a job. She has assisted her children's schools with fundraising quite successfully, something which she hoped to continue in Jamaica. A member of International Proxy Parents here, she recently helped to organised the May ball which was sold out. The proceeds from the ball are intended to help Jamaican children exclusively.
Another favourite activity is visiting the Children's Home at Maxfield Park once or twice each week. There she plays with the tots and helps older children with reading and homework. With a sense of surprise, she tells Outlook, "They so look forward to my coming. It is really something different in their lives."
Life as the wife of a banker has its unique challenges. Aubyn Hill works long hours, but fortunately, says his wife, "I like my own company." She is also an avid reader.
With NCB still representing a challenge for her spouse, she is satisfied with the one day they spend quality time together Sunday.
"We have dedicated Sunday for ourselves until he gets more stable on the job," she says.
Family is number one with Tamara. "Family is very important. I try to instil in my children a sense of family...integrity too and character. Be who you are, no matter where you are." She is also as liberal as her father was. She tells them, "Be whatever you want to be."
Her son is now away at college in upper Canada, but he is coming home for the summer. Her daughter, she says, will be going away to college in the near future.
When she does, Tamara states that she just might start her own business. "It is important to challenge the intellect," she explains. She has given her life for her children, now her time is coming up.
In the meantime, she feels that the family has come home. There will be no more moving for them. She intends to spend her time enjoying the island and people, with an eye to continuing fundraising for children's needs.
Tamara finds Jamaicans warm and friendly, something that she could not have done without, as she is of a sunny nature herself.
"I call even fruit vendors 'darling'," she laughs, admitting that they "darling" her right back. "I have a personal philosophy - live each day to the fullest."
Tamara smiles. She is looking forward to the long days of summer, when everyone will be home. Today, her heart is full.
