Single moms ­ stress, strain and huge expenses

They have had every possible reason thrown at them why they should have waited to have children with someone responsible. They have to tolerate the stares, the whispers and the endless advice, and thus venture explanations as to why they're raising children alone. Didn't they realise that it was going to be an uphill struggle for the best years of their lives.

Statistics show that a huge percentage of Jamaican households are headed by single women, some who work two or three jobs just to make ends meet. Added to that, statistics (an April 2001 Reuters report) also show that single mothers have a 70 per cent higher risk of dying prematurely than mothers living with partners because of stresses that more often than not lead to suicide, violence, or alcohol abuse.

With all those negatives, they also have the mammoth task of raising a child with unquestionable values and the hard work is made even harder because sometimes affording a tube of baking soda toothpaste cost proves arduous.

Thirty-year-old supermarket cashier, Beverly Reid, raises two children including a 13-year-old who is fully ensconced in the world of teenage materialism. She has to have every name brand attire that happens to be the "in thing for the moment."

"I have to juggle working 12- hour days and some weekends, with selling a bit of nix-nax at home so that I can afford to get them what they need," the Manchester mother said. "Then with $3,500 a week from the job, and about $5000 a week on a good week from the selling, I have to buy my children what they need rather than what they want".

Needs include food primarily. Ms. Reid gets a discount at the supermarket so she spends a little over $1,000 every week to get necessary supplies. Medicine is a must because her seven-year-old continuously gets sick. With no insurance, doctor's visits at $800 a visit and prescriptions which run from $200-$800 every three weeks, her meagre salary soon vanishes. Dentist visits every six months for the children and herself runs to around $3,500 for simple procedures like cleaning. She pays rent of $4,000 a month on a two bedroom place in Hatfield. Clothes are bought every two months or so. She waits on sales and shops at the cheaper stores and in the arcades -- around $5,000 per month for replacement gear for both children.

"The biggest challenge for me would be just affording to keep my daughter in school" said Madge Phillips, the mother of a 12-year-old who just passed her GSAT exams. "While the $7,000 school fee is aided by cost sharing, and book rentals were less than $1,000 for me, I have to think of lunch money at $120 per day for her, dinner when she gets home, which at the restaurant across the road costs $100, notebooks, and of course extra-curricular activities. She just joined Cadets, and of course you know who'll have to foot the bill for the uniform. I have to have her picked up from school in the evenings, the taxi charges $500 per week, and I have to make sure that I have gas in the car to take her to school every day. This results in me buying about $200 gas per day to take me all the way from Portmore to Spanish Town, then beat the traffic to Half-Way Tree." Added is the cost of reward items when her daughter does well in school, CDs go for around $700 each, the cost of the computer to ensure that she gets her work done -- $45,000 and Internet costs at $1,000 per month.

Agreeably, for most single moms, the main challenge is financial constraints and knowing where to stop with their needs to meet their kids'. When 40-year- old Kaydene Browning suddenly found herself as a single mother after her husband died five years ago, she was forced to cut back on her desires and always keep a written plan of her expenses. And with a son who just entered university, Mrs. Browning's problems are just beginning.

"He got a student's loan to cover the over $100,000 tuition plus a book grant, but I have to bear the cost of food, clothes and transportation," the Kingston office assistant said. "At the end of each month, I spend over $15,000 on him, I've borrowed so many loans from my company, that at the end of the month, I take home just under $12,000 to meet my needs."

Wendy Andrews' case is somewhat different. She does not get any money for her eight-year-old son until his father feels like sending it. And even then, she says that he seems proud of the $800 every two weeks or so which just suffices for lunch money for the boy. The sacrifice for the 30-year-old teacher is her trips to the hair-dresser("even for just a $300 shampoo"), clothes shopping, fast food and other girlie things just to get her son new shoes, or just to allow him a weekend over with his friends most times.

A single mom who works a decent salary often spends most of the money trying to get the child into a decent school, and having all the things that it needs. The task can be so huge for those who are on minimum wage and are going it alone, that sometimes the choice has to be made between sending the child to school today, and buying dinner for him on the weekend. Some have some sort of male support system, financial aid that helps out sometimes. Most go it alone, day by day, making the thousands of dollars of sacrifice and hoping for greater rewards when the kids grow up.

Back to Business