Need a job

Dear Pastor,

Greetings in the mighty name of Jesus our soon coming King. I have been living with a man for the past 15 years. We got married seven years ago. For the past seven and a half years, I have been a true Christian woman. My husband is not a Christian. I pray every day that God will save him. For the past two years he has not been working. He has been seeking but he cannot get a job.

He is not educated but he is intelligent and handsome. He is respected in the community. He is not a lazy person. He makes us very happy. We are trying to pay for a piece of land on which we are living. We made a down payment, but we are unable to pay anymore. If we do not pay anymore money, we are going to lose the place. We do not have anywhere else to go.

I am willing to go abroad to work. If anybody needs a baby-sitter or domestic worker, I am willing to work. I am a hard-working person. Thank you very much. May God bless you. Please pray for my husband, the children and me.

R., Westmoreland

Dear R.,

I am sorry to hear that your husband is unemployed. And I pray that God will provide a job for him very soon. You have spoken very highly of him. He is a good husband and father. I pray also that very soon he will become a Christian.

It is refreshing to hear a woman speak so highly of her man. So often women say uncomplimentary things about their husbands even when the men are trying.

I do not know if anybody would be willing to offer you a job, but if I am contacted, I will let you know. In the meantime, keep on trusting God.

Pastor

Stand your ground ­ pastor

Dear Pastor,

I am a 42-year-old woman. When I was 32-years-old I fell in love with a man and we had a son together. This man runs up and down with many women, so I left him. He has children with two other women and he left them and married another woman. In the space of a month, they broke up. And he is now living with another woman.

He came back to me begging me for sex. I told him I cannot do that because I have my man. He got angry. He questioned our 10-year-old son about me. He told our son that I am a whore. I am not working and it is my man friend who is helping me. Sometimes my son's father does not want to give me any money, so please pray that he would leave me alone.

E.R., Clarendon

Dear E.R.,

Your child's father has not yet learned that he cannot finish woman. He is over doing a good thing. He is just playing the fool. How can he go around and have children with so many women? He cannot be able to support them.

Stand your ground. Don't make yourself cheap. Your child will soon grow up and he would come to understand that you are not a whore and that his father is a wicked man. Trust in the Lord and he will help you.

Pastor

Should she sleep with boyfriend?

Dear Pastor,

I am in my teens. I will be leaving school next year. I have been in love with a guy for the past two years. When I first met him he wanted us to have sex right away, but I told him no. I told him that I was not ready to have sex, so if he wanted us to break up, he could do it. He told me that he would never leave me. Now that I have grown older, he keeps begging and begging me to have sex with him. So I decided to do it.

He took me out for dinner. Then we went to his house. When we were ready to have sex, I noticed that he did not put on a condom so I pushed him off me. He asked me what was the problem. I asked him why he was not using a condom. He told me that he cannot use a condom. I asked him why, and he said that he is allergic to it. I told him I could not help him so he should take me home.

From that night I changed my mind completely from sex, especially with him. Every time he calls me, he wants to know when I am going to have sex with him. I always tell him when he is willing to use a condom. I told him that he should find another girl but he insists that he only wants me. He said we can solve our problem.

I love him very much but I cannot put my life in danger because of love. He wants to know why I don't want to have sex with him. I told him it is a quick and easy way to get pregnant. He told me that since I am worried about getting pregnant I should take the pill or the injection. He brought me two packs of contraceptive pills. I have not taken them as yet. I was supposed to begin on the first day of my menstruation and my menstruation has passed.

Should I take the pill and have sex with him or should I end this relationship? Tell me anything, except that I should end our relationship. I don't have any other problem with him. So give me your advice.

S.G., St. Elizabeth

Dear S.G.,

I cannot encourage you to have sex with this young man. He is sexually active and you do not know how many girls he has had sexual intercourse with and whether these young women were infected with sexually transmitted diseases. You know for sure that he has had unprotected sex. Perhaps he has had problems with the condom, but not all condoms affect young men. Some men say they are allergic to the condom because they do not want to use it at all. However, any man who has that problem should check with a doctor and he or she would advise him what brand or type he should use etc.

You are still attending school. Why is this young man pressuring you to have sex? I cannot encourage you to have sex with him. I would rather encourage you to study very hard, finish high school and go on to college. This young man is only interested in sex. That is all he has in mind. Any man who constantly pressures a girl to have sex with him is not to be trusted. An intelligent girl should know that he only wants to use her. And when he has used her, he will dump her.

Pastor

A weighty issue

Dear Pastor,

I have a big problem and I am hoping that you can help me. From I was a child I have been overweight, but now it has got worse.

I am now 16-years-old, and I am weighing about 200 pounds. When I am in plainclothes, I look like a 36-year-old pregnant woman. I know that because I have been told so. At times I am afraid to look at myself in the mirror.

I want to feel comfortable in my clothes but I can't. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. I need your help urgently. I have no one else to turn to. I hope you can help me. I want to wake up in the mornings and feel good about myself. Instead, I just feel trapped like I am in another person's body.

There are times when I feel like I would kill myself but because I know that there is no repentance in the grave, I do not worry with it. Please help me.

K.B., Manchester

Dear K.B.,

You should ask your parents to take you to a doctor and to have him or her put you on a reducing diet. You will also have to exercise daily. It is possible for you to take off weight gradually, but you need professional help to do so. There are many diets on the market today but you should not allow anybody to entice you to go on any of them on your own. Please follow the advice of a doctor.

I am very sure that you can receive help and after a number of months you would get to love your body and be proud of yourself. I will be praying for you, but take the first step and that is, consult a doctor.

Pastor

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