All things are possible -GREAT EXPECTATIONS(Pt 2) Young people want money and the keys to the good life and they want it now. Do they expect too much too soon? No, says Ricardo who plans to get rich by 2004. Yes, say most older folks. "...we have encouraged them to believe that life will always be like Disney World,"
says Counsellor Sharon Johnson Last week: Living in a material world
By Avia Ustanny
, Freelance Writer TREVOR MARTIN'S 1994 Toyota Corolla is clean, it works (though it has some hiccups), and what's more, he worked hard and saved long to make the $250,000 to buy it. But since he got it about a year ago he has been the butt of jokes by his friends who needle him for buying a salad. The car is "old" and there is no prestige to claim. "A wha dat man'. A dat yu spen yu money pan?," they usually snicker. His friends don't seem to care that he had made sacrifices going without new clothes, shoes and other luxuries - and that he had stuck to what he could afford. They really believe, he said, that he should have borrowed to get a car that really says something. With his old "wreck", he will never hear, "It a seh one." The ridicule has gotten under his skin and now the 26-year-old is afraid to be seen driving his car. He also conceded that parking in obscure spots away from the teasing of his friends, often makes him feel somewhat less of a man. The pressure of peers who measure manhood and success by their material possessions has caused more than one youngster to go astray. To measure up many have gone the route of indebtedness or corrupt activities. While Trevor was willing to sacrifice prestige until he could afford it, his friends and many other young people like them want their slice of the good life now. According to the experts, the young want much more than generations before them because they live in an age when it seems that all things are possible. "Even though it's harder to live in Jamaica now, the young are seeing that's it's possible to do a lot of things that their parents could not," said Sharon Johnson of Help for Parents. "Five to 10 years ago the average person from the country had no car. Now they can own one. Everything is not just for the rich anymore. "It's ok to think this way as long as one comes by what one wants, honestly." Where the problem begins, she said, is when the natural desire to achieve becomes a runaway train. BLAME THE PARENTS The attitude of many young people can only be labeled as lazy, added Ms. Johnson. It's their parent's fault and the fault of the role models around them, she reckons. Children accused of being too materialistic, too much into "things' are this way because we have encouraged them to believe that life will always be like Disney World. And we provide them with an all-inclusive lifestyle. This is not healthy." The counsellor said that our rush to provide children with everything they need and ask for does not help to build a strong child, emotionally or in terms of character. "If and when we want them to have reasonable expectations, then we have to teach them the reality of how life should be. She added: "Children today are looking to you to entertain them. We give them things as compensation for our lack of time. We do not build strong relationships when we substitute things for attention." Ms. Johnson noted that childen today "miss out on the lesson of delayed gratification and often cannot handle the bad news that life often brings." For example, she added, "do not tell them that they cannot have things because you have no money. Money should never be the reason for not giving. Sometimes it is just the timing. At other times, what they want is really not necessary. Also, if we keep breaking promises we should not have made in the first place, they may decide not to expect anything anymore. Other children say "you owe me double. Children need to know if they get all the good things, then they might find themselves with nothing to live for." THE IMPACT OF TELEVISION Pauline Bain, a counselling psychologist, has this to say on the issue: "Comparing a 40 to a 20-year-old is not entirely fair today. "The exposure is not the same." She speaks especially of the impact of television and other market and entertainment forces. "Television presents a certain picture and so people's expectations are raised. "When I was 12, I never thought about wanting a car. It was not an expectation because there were so few cars. Part of the issue is, therefore, exposure, and also the raised expectations that it creates." She added that most young people, "when I talk to them in the classroom, want a big house and a big car. I tell them if I do not pay may mortgage in two months I will lose the house. Many young people do not understand that people are driving cars that do not belong to them, but to their company." The psychologist blames not only ignorance, but the impact of advertising and marketing messages which say that one can get a lot for very little. SOCIETY'S GREED "One of the things with greed in this country has to do with all the lotteries, the raffles and all the different organisations that say - 'If you buy this, you get this and you get much, much more than what you paid in the first place. This is greed." Looking at the partner scheme frenzy, the counselling psychologist queried this suspension of good sense. "If I put in (invest) $6,000, how can I expect to get $40,000 (as the monthly payback) for the rest of my life? "It is impatience, an unwillingness to labour for reward and maybe a little bit of the relics of slavery. Slaves had to work so hard and got so little. Some people now feel that they are not going to repeat this experience, saying, 'I am not going to work so hard for the little pay.'" She added: "I get big strong men walking past my office saying that they have run out of gas. They prefer to beg than to work. I have heard people say that they think their parents were foolish to work so hard." Ms. Bains also believes that the inequities that remain in Jamaican society play a part in fueling despair, and its flip-side of seeking wealth, by any means. "Remember also that greed is seen in middle and upper class people who have a lot and will not pay their workers properly. I heard of one man, a butler, who worked these very long hours for just a little bit of money. When his employees entertained, they had alcohol flowing like water. We all know how expensive that is." RANK MARTERIALISM Their lavish living fuelled his anger, resentment and bitterness. It speaks of a lack of concern their fellow men. So, 'I'll collect as much as I can and the other man looks after himself,' becomes the mentality." One thing is not unconnected to the other, she said.
|
