Ray and his nephews

- File

Many accidents are a result of drunken driving.

Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor

ME dear mam, a ting happen a foreign de other day, sinners weep an mourn. Missis, me hear pon de news how dis man, weh did deh a rum bar a drink from bout ten o clock de mawning, neva do a ting but, as night come dung, step outta de bar. Step inna him car an begin drive inna de wrong direction pon dis busy, busy one-way road.

Suh me dear mam, turn out dat dis police car did deh oneside an spot him. But as de police car begin fe gi chase fe signal him fe stop, de man neva do a ting more dan pick up speed an begin gillup bout him bisniss. When boodom, him collide head-on wid dis car what did a come inna de opposite direction. An kill off himself, an de whole fambily a five smady inna de next car, plus dem dawg.

Well, as if dat neva hot nuff, de news seh dat a rush de fambily did a rush dis ooman weh did inna labour pain, fe g'a hospital. When de drunkard not only kill she but de baby weh did out fe bawn.

Missis yu can tell me a wrang wid dem ya people weh love go roun steering wheel when dem cyaan tan up strang an dem head a bob an weave like young baby? Yu nuh believe a time nuff now fe hatarity sen dem g'a prison like man weh charge fe rape?

But talking dis an talkin dat. Yu know weh me notice? Nowadays drunkard hab too much privilege. Some a dem cyaan even spell YMCA, but dem hab licence. Some a dem neva tek photograph fram dem bawn. But dem hab licence. Some a dem cyaan tell yu de difference between licence, registration paper, an receipt fe de two back tyre. But yet still dem hab licence wrap up inna plastic wid documents. An shoob dung inna glove compartment weh gi dem fenneh grease fe huppen once it shet.

Wah happen to de days when drunkard use to lock bar an talk to moon while dem a walk foot g'a dem yard? Like me uncle weh dead an gone from me was a pickney. Massy. Me dear mam, when dat deh man bruck Little Lane mout outta Central Village fe ketch dung a me auntie, everyman pon de road wake up. Cause when him begin talk to da moon an tell da moon how him know de books a de Bible. Leviticus an so fort. Suh de moon can tan deh look an nuh go read fe itself. An when him begin buss a chune bout Madda de great stone, de stone of Babylon. Bout three or four other drunken combolo chime een "madda de great stone gots to move."

An my dear lady yu si when him enter de yard an begin preach under da kidney mango tree? While de house well lock an everybaddy inside? A dat time deeds rip. How, fram little to big, a pure tief him lib wid. Das why him fraid a wi. Well when it come on to de little tief, me dis kibba me head wid de sheet. Cause a neva one or two shilling me use to fine pon floor dat neva hab nuh owna. An after him cuss an cuss, we hear him tek time an go liddung pon de verandah floor. An begin cuss again how we tief till we tief off de very sheet offa him bed.

Suh missis ma, is not to seh dat some a fe we people neva use to drink. But as me seh, dem deh days there was no drinking an driving. It was just drinking an walking. Cause fuss ting to begin wid, fe me poor uncle an him fren dem neva hab no car.

Car? Weh name suh when all dem did use to was dem horse an saddle? But yu know fram when me know seh drunkard woulda inna so so worries when motor vehicle come pon road? Fram de time when me was a teenager pickney an dis drunken man drive offa de road an tun ova inna de swamp weh some big people inna de yard used to ketch crab.

Suh de night a de tun ova, police come an tun on flashlight ova de swamp pon him. An dem notice him deh pon one piece a searching.

"Weh y'a look fa boss?" de policeman ask him. Hear him, drunk like a bat: "Me wife sah. A believe she inna de mud ya sah! Yu look ya suh while me gwone look deh suh!" But a which wife yu think him did a look fa?

Nuh de said one weh him did lef a yard fram part day an tell seh him soon come? Yu tink Ray an him nephew dem easy?

Tek care!

Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a communications professor and a talk show host in the University of North Carolina system.

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