Tony HendriksIT IS truly amazing, not to mention incredibly unfortunate, that just as it is announced that a whole Cineplex of movies are going to be filmed in Jamaica, in real life, horrifying, brutal, acts of murder and violence are taking place in our country.
For once, we can be under no illusion that art is imitating life rather than life imitating art. One thing for certain is if the recent act of carnage was a movie script, it would stretch the credibility of a film to the edge of fantasy and beg so much suspension of disbelief audiences would cry out: "That could never happen in real life!" all through the flick.
If we look back at some of the films made and inspired by our culture over the years it comes as no surprise to find that the vast majority are of a similar genre. "The Harder They Come", "Third World Cop", "Dancehall Queen", "Marijuana Affair", "Klash" (I know you were hoping I'd forget that one. Trust me, I tried.) and "Marked For Death" were all written based on the same stereotypical image of our island: music, ganja and guns.
Of course aside from action there are more character-riven movies such as "Milk & Honey", "Smile Orange" and "The Lunatic", but what are they really saying? The first is about illegal immigration, the second perpetuates big bamboo sex tourism in an extremely bad hotel, and the last has an ugly German tourist getting freaky with a madman who talks to plants and animals before turning to robbery and attempted murder.
Documentaries have been no kinder. "Yardies" dealt with crime, corruption and poverty, "Jamaica ER" dissected the horrors of KPH and "Caribbean Uncovered", a whole series on SKY TV, harked back to a subject that has haunted almost every article I have written in this column; drunken, naked white people. Should we stop making this kind of movie? On the contrary, the more of any we make whether TV, theatrical or video, the better we become at the craft and the cream that ultimately floats to the top will indeed be sweet. We must write and produce films that use all aspects of our culture as nice films only preach to the converted.
Telling our own stories in film helps us look at ourselves and enables us to choose our future path. It is important to do this because when outsiders point the camera we resent what they focus on, have little or no empathy and are often so badly misrepresented we cry foul, but alas too late. I say, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" Let's look at some great movies, classics, and recent Oscar nominees, to see what we can learn from them.
THE GODFATHER: The story of a dynasty. Don Manleone works hard on one side of the law to set up the family business. When he dies his son Michael takes over the reins of power. Michael's ideology and methods differ from his father's but he is charismatic and loved by his people. His passion for work is matched only by his passion for women. Will his alliance with Don Castro be his downfall? Can he continue his father's dream and become The Godfather?
THE SOUND OF MUSIC: The hills are alive with sound of music. The towns are alive with it, too. Music can be heard all day and night all over the island, in bars, homes and churches. Cars throb on bass rather than run on gas. In this story, a wealthy widower with seven children searches for a producer to turn them into a hit factory like The Jacksons. He ends up with Nun, who is so happy she runs across mountains, throwing her wimple in the wind. They end up in Switzerland working with Lee "Scratch" Perry.
CROUCHING MONGOOSE, HIDDEN JOHN CROW: The master wants to lay down his weapon, but before he can do so he has to teach a young thief the true way. The story is applicable to any political party looking for a successor for a retiring leader.
HEAR HIM BRUK NUH BITCH!: A single mother discovers her baby father has no J-O-B, no M-O-N-E-Y and insists IT-WASN'T-ME! She gets together with all other single mothers (a whole heap) and in the first ever class action paternity suit they sue every deadbeat dad in Jamaica. Men from all walks of life and society leave Jamaica leaving no men at all. Which is the story of one of the worst movies of all time: WILD WOMEN OF WONGA!
THE GRINCH WHO SOLD CRISSAS: The story of a second-hand car dealer who sells lemons, then refuses to give money back!
CAST AWAY: The Biography of Bruce Golding.
TRAFFIC: From Kingston to Montego Bay we've run out of road. It seems the easiest way to get around Jamaica is by plane or boat, until you keep bucking up Colombians, Jamaicans and US Coast Guard chasing each other. (I saw the movie in the US and every time they showed a drug smuggling scene a bredda in the audience kept jumping up, shouting "No sah! A nuh so dem dweet!")
RAGING BULL: The sound heard every day in Gordon House.
STAR WARS: Beanie Man versus Capleton. Bounty Killa versus Sizzla. Ninja Man versus Himself. Pretty much every year at Sting.
TURD WHIRL COPS: A western where the people of Crooked Creek finally take the law into their own hands. They confiscate all the guns and along with Sheriff Adams, Marshal Forbes and Mayor Knight, put them in barrels and roll them over Crooked Creek Falls. When they hit the foaming pool at the bottom they spiral around, like turds in a toilet bowl, symbolising where they have taken law enforcement, until finally they sink out of sight.
APOCALYPSE NOW: The Jamaican version is Apocalypse Soon Come.
WEST SIDE STORY: A man from the other side of the tracks creates a loyal following by rebuilding their ghetto then vows to lead his people to the Promised Land. When they get there it's half day closing.
VERTIGO: After being dizzy with power for three terms the PM doesn't know vertigo from here.
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE: Delroy Chuck.
HANNIBAL: The name Jamaicans call any mammal on four legs. "Is what kind of Hannibal dat?"
Tony Hendriks can be reread at www.jamaicanpaleface.com or e-mailed and roundly chastised at JamaicanPaleface@aol.com 2001.TonyHendriks.
