C. Roy ReynoldsHEH! HEY, Hey! But unno eva se mi trial hintellectual ah cuss hintellectual an pat a cuss kettle black.
Dem seh dankey noh business ena cow fight far him don't ave horn.
Soh mi noh business ena a hintellectual fight since di ongly time dem dat mi go ah igh school is fi goh cova tings fi newspaper. But den again dem seh fools rush in whey angel fraid fe trad, an soh mi really ave a licence fi rush in to.
Soh jack mandora mi noh really choose none but di agument between di two siid meck mi rememba a story ah hear when mi did ah goh a Faam School.
Meck sure yuh undastan mi, far mi noh seh mi did ah goh a famitory school, mi seh Faam school. Eny way accadin to di story mi did a cum fram maakit wan day an big, big agument staat between di ooman dem bout a wah a di baddis pain.
Wan ooman seh is headache, nedda wan seh is baby bawning pain, an de odda wan seh is teethache. Well, dem chat, chat, chat but dem cuddn't cum to eny understanding. Soh dem tun to di man weh nevah bisniss wid di agument soh far an ask im fi umpiah it. Di man schups him mout an den him tell dem: Di ole ah unno ah taak piss. Eny ah unno eva mash unno balls? Lawd ah massy story dun, far dat deh is di ongly pain I kno whey can stap yu breat.
Soh a dem yah no, dem a agu liik dikkance but nah badda wid di facks, imagin ena dis big big worl dem ah gwaan like seh likkle JA ah world to itself. Dem mussi all ave hinta-net conneckshan an difference but it look like seh ah video game dem a play wid it an nah badda wid di odda stuff. Soh dem keep an suffaring fram hintellectual malnutrition. Sometim mi sarry fi dose dat dem lick wid dem hintellectual agument.
Like poor P.J. If yu lissen to sum ah a dem taak every day yu wudda believe seh him respanseble fi every ting from the Boxer rebellion in China bout hundred year ago to di American dem ah bumb dem own ah peeple dem in Kuwait last week.
But dat ah noh fi seh dat P.J. neva doh sum rang tings an meck sum wrang soun. An im elp dem to by not telling people di facks ah liif.
But as I see it him also ave annada handicap. Memba noh ah seh Jack Mandora mi noh choos none, soh noh badda goh jump inna mi skin fi whey ah gwine to seh nex, but it seem to mi liik paat a missa P.J. trubble is im too black.
Him aught fi rememba dat ah noh so lang ago wen ah hole lat a people in dis yah cuntry did feel an seh dat enyting too black noh good. An since him mussi be a hintellectual imself im shudda si seh ole tiim sinting cum back again. Yes missa P.J. ah browning ah carry di swing. But yu dont ave fi worry too much, yoh still ave some tiim fi, as dem seh, haddress di prablem, yu noh see whe som ah di saam peeple dem who yu pauperise ah fine tousan dollas fi buy pill fi change dem skinn colla. Yu can buy dem to, so dat di nex tiim yu affi face di hellectorate yu will ave a change ah skin. Yu shudda kno seh if yu people dem don't comfatable ena dem own ah skin dem nah go feel dat way fi yu.
Teck a lessen fram di great Michael Jackson. Rememba seh im did fava yu wid all di afro wen di two ah onno was yunga? But look at im now. Him change fram spook to ghoos even to di fack dat im transparent. An how aftin dem mus tell yu seh yu shudda be more transparent.
But ah ave fi tell yu someting, yu realli ave fi meck tings cleara. Yu mus no seh di tings dem dat people ah deman fram yu is himpassable fi yu give dem. Soh stap preten like seh yuh ah goh doh it. It may nat win yu di nex eleckshan but it woulda be yu biggest cantribution to real hintellectualism.
But if yu caan doh dat rememba seh mi tell yu bout di pill dem. Yu noh haffi use dem till yu look like hex-ray picha like poor Michael but if yu tink a lie mi a tell bout di kina change look at yu paaty memba dem who dem a tout fi succeed yu an see if dem noh browna dan yu.
Ah dat mi seh sah, but memba seh mi ah no hintellectual. Mi ah dankey an mi noh really bissniss inna cow fight far mi doan ave no haan dough mi eyesight sarta good.
C. Roy Reynolds is a freelance journalist.
