Dear Pastor,
Keep up the good work you are doing. I am having a problem. I am seventeen years old. I was living with my father but because of certain circumstances I had to leave and go and live with my mother and stepfather.
My father was not treating me well. My mother and stepfather were treating me right until my stepfather started to quarrel and to tell me that I should come out of his house because I am not washing his son's clothes.
His son is twelve years old. When I was twelve years old I had to wash my clothes. Life was difficult when I was very young.
I am attending a high school and I am in fifth form. I am doing six subjects in the CXC and one GCE. I do not know how I am going to pay for these subjects. My father is not helping me. I have to buy my own stuff. My stepfather curses me day and night. Sometimes he turns off the light when I am studying. He told me that education will not put me anywhere. He hides the iron from me just because he knows I have to use it to press my clothes. He even cursed the food I have to eat because he provided it.
Whenever I ask guys for money, they say they want sex in return. I don't always get money from them because they say I am using them. Sometimes I say to myself that I should be a stripper because I don't have parents to help me. But I am determined to do well. I don't have anywhere to go. I am tired of this situation. My stepfather is even asking me to help to pay light bill. He wants me out of his house by December. He said that I should not make January come and I am still in his house. I am not disrespectful to him. I want to go to church and live a clean life.
It seems as if I am going crazy. I cannot take this life anymore. Please help me.
N.N., St. Ann
Dear N.N.,
I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy, but judging from what you have written anyone in your situation would be unhappy. Your stepfather is very rough on you. It does appear as if he does not think much about having an education. And perhaps your mother feels hopeless. I am sure that she would want to help you but she is not in a position to do so. You have not said why your father is not helping you. Too bad some men ignore their girl children.
You are an ambitious young lady. As I see it, the trouble with your stepfather started when you refused to wash his twelve- year-old son's clothes. It seems to me that your stepfather believes that you ought to do it because you are living in his house and eating the food he provides. Some folks may say that you wash them, but if you don't feel that you should, you should not be forced to do it. Frankly, I think that a twelve year old boy should be taught to help himself, especially when one considers how some boys love to play in the dirt and treat their clothes badly.
I don't mean to imply that you should not assist this man's son. There are some clothes he definitely would not be able to wash properly, such as his white shirts etc. For too long parents have not taught boys to wash and cook and clean house, so the boys grow up believing that it is only girls who should do those things. When the boys grow up and get married, they behave the same way.
I hope that readers will help you; therefore, if I hear from anybody, I will contact you.
Pastor
You will succeed if you have the will pastor
Dear Pastor,
I am attending school and am in grade eleven. I am seventeen years old. Since I was young I always wanted to become a soldier, but I can't seem to do anything right. I am not good in my school work. I cannot do Mathematics. I never passed my Mathematics examinations. I am a slow learner, but I want to do well in my work.
I don't have any time to study. As I take up my book, my aunt calls me to do something else. My mother is in the country. She has my sisters to send to school. Sometimes she can't send them to school. She has five of us and she is going to have another child soon.
When I was living with my mother she used to tell me that I am not going to come out to anything good. I want to show her that she is not right about me. I don't have anyone to help me with my work. Sometimes I feel like killing myself. As I write this letter I am crying. Why do things have to be so hard? I cannot talk to my aunt. She is not someone you can sit and talk with. My mother is the same. My mother does not sit and talk how a mother should talk to a child. Maybe that is why I am like this. I am not bad or anything like that.
I just want to become a soldier, but I don't know who to talk to. I hope you can help me. If you know anyone who can help me, talk to them for me. I am also asking you to say a Psalm for my relatives and me. May God keep on blessing you.
K.G., St. Catherine
Dear K.G.,
May I encourage you. Although you are a slow learner you will succeed if you are determined to do so. You will have to spend more time on your lessons. I know it is going to be very difficult for you because right now you don't have anybody who seems to care, and is willing to allow you time to study.
You may have to get up early in the mornings and study for an hour before you leave to go to school. If you are a lover of television, you will have to cut back on the time you spend watching television and use that time to study. Buy some index cards and write notes on them and walk with them in your pocket book and whenever you are travelling you can look at them and study.
Some folks believe that they have to sit at a particular time and study and if anything prevents them from doing so, they blame others. It is true that one has to schedule his time, have a timetable etc. But what I am trying to say is that one has to learn to use time well, especially a person like you who is slow. Believe me, you will succeed if you have the will to succeed.
A few years ago there was a documentary on television about a young man in the United States of America who did not have a home. He was actually, I think, living on the street and he used to study on the street using the street light. He passed his examinations and now he is doing marvellously well. All I am trying to say to you is that you ought not to worry. When the pressure comes on you, you may shed a few tears. That is alright but don't give up. Remember God loves you and God will take care of you.
Anyone who wishes to become a soldier in the Jamaica Defence Force should be between the age of 18 and 23 on the day of enlistment. However, persons wishing to join who are under eighteen (18) years old must have parental consent. All applicants eligible for training will be determined by the results achieved on the entrance test. Applicants will also have to pass a medical examination and a physical selection test set by the Recruiting Board. Applicants must be a minimum of 1m 70cm (5ft 7inch) tall.
Applicants should write to The Recruiting Officer, Headquarters, Jamaica Defence Force, Up Park Camp, Kingston 5.
Pastor
Heartbroken over break-up
Dear Pastor,
I am a fifteen-year-old girl who is in love with a sixteen year-old-boy. We have been talking for over a year. Now he is telling me that he wants space. I asked him why and he said it is because I don't want him to do anything to me like kissing and having sex etc.
I love this guy very much. I even got into trouble with my parents because of this boy. There are many guys who are after me and have been with, but he is the only one I love. But now he has broken my heart.
He said I have to change my ways first, and if not, I should stop talking to him. I still have feelings for him. I don't know what I am going to do. May God bless you.
M.W., St. Ann
Dear M.W.,
This young man is sixteen years old and you are fifteen. He is interested in having sex with you, but you are not ready for that. You have already told him so.
Don't allow him to force you into doing what you do not want to. He does not want a clean friendship. He wants to fool around. You wouldn't die if he breaks off his friendship with you. As you grow up you will learn that many young fellows will only want to get under your skirt. You have something to protect, so protect it with all your might until the Good Lord sends you a husband. And you have a long time before that happens because you are only fifteen.
Pastor
